Saturday, January 22, 2022

Does My Partner Have Ptsd

Don't Miss

Other Effects Of Ptsd

Learning ways to support a spouse with PTSD

If you are experiencing symptoms of PTSD, you might also find that you have difficulty with some everyday aspects of your life, such as:

  • looking after yourself
  • remembering things and making decisions
  • your sex drive
  • coping with change
  • simply enjoying your leisure time.

If you drive you may have to tell the DVLA that you have PTSD. For more information on your right to drive, including when and how to contact the DVLA, see our legal pages on fitness to drive.

“My behaviour changed and became erratic. I would alternate from wanting to shut myself away and not see or talk to anyone to going out to parties in the middle of the week and staying out late.”

What Do I Know About Helping Someone With Ptsd

I have worked as a work-place counsellor for a large police service where I specialised in trauma.

Many of my clients presented with anything from subclinical symptoms of post-traumatic stress to full-blown Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Often they suffered from work-related incidents. But many police officers had joined the service already suffering from symptoms dating back from their time in the military.

Based on that experience, I hope to be able to help you help your spouse or partner with PTSD or any post-traumatic stress symptoms.

Id like you to start by reading my article on PTSD symptoms to discover what its like to have PTSD. This will give you some idea of what your spouse might be going through, particularly when theyre unable or unwilling to tell you.

And, just in case your partner or spouse has suffered a head injury, also read the following two articles :

Ptsd Relationships Often Struggle With Intimacy

PTSD can affect emotional connection and libido. This is largely due to the associated symptoms of anxiety and depression. Your loved one can also be adversely affected by their PTSD medications. Additionally, you may have built up resentment and anger over time towards your PTSD partner, which also contributes to ongoing struggles with intimacy.

You May Like: How Dangerous Are Eating Disorders

How I Stopped Enabling My Husband With Ptsd And Started Supporting Him

His outbursts were starting to come out of nowhere. His anger was getting unbearable. I didnt realize it at the time, but I had begun walking on eggshells, every single day. So when we discovered that my husbands changing behavior had a rational reason, it was something of a relief.

Post traumatic stress disorder. PTSD. I was under no illusion, it was going to be a long road for both of us. But together we would handle this. He would take extended leave from work, he would see the psychologists and the psychiatrists, he would take the right combinations of medication, he would keep his energy up and his anxiety down with regular exercise, and he would recharge with daily mindfulness practice.

But how long was it before I saw that he was slipping backwards? The checklist was right there, the answers to how we could move out from this dark fog of PTSD, but he wasnt doing even half of it.

Not to worry. What he needed most was a supportive wife, I decided. I could do that. I was determined that no-one would ever have seen such a supportive wife as me. I would let him have time when he needed it, and space when he wanted it. I would take over all the responsibilities of our home and children to keep his stress at a minimum. I would delay my return to work so I could be there for him as much as possible. I would let him sleep. I would let him drink. And I wouldnt ask anything of him so he could dedicate every last ounce of his dwindling energy into getting better.

Common Internal Ptsd Triggers

Chronic PTSD in Veterans: A Public Health Crisis ...
  • Physical discomfort, such as hunger, thirst, fatigue, sickness, and sexual frustration.
  • Any bodily sensation that recalls the trauma, including pain, old wounds and scars, or a similar injury.
  • Strong emotions, especially feeling helpless, out of control, or trapped.
  • Feelings toward family members, including mixed feelings of love, vulnerability, and resentment.

You May Like: Can Cats Help With Ptsd

Statistics About Ptsd Relationships

If youve seen any of the figures about PTSD relationships then no doubt you wouldve found them quite upsetting.

Average divorce rates in most Western countries hover around the 50% mark, however the divorce rate for PTSD relationships may climb alarmingly to around 70%.

Yes, you read that correctly.;Only about 3 out of 10 marriages will survive longterm once PTSD enters the relationship.

Disheartening, to say the least.

But when you consider that many cases of PTSD go undiagnosed, and that rates of divorce do not include de facto or other relationship types, then accurate statistics of any kind are virtually impossible to calculate.

And divorce only tells part of the story. Its really only the tip of the iceberg.;Do we honestly assume the remaining 30% of these marriages happy and healthy amidst the challenges of PTSD?

The damage that PTSD can wreak on relationships can be extensive, especially when help and support is not available or accessed.

And many of us will struggle through, barely uttering a word.

Please Dont Tell Us To Just Get Over It

I think its great if loved ones can to do their best to find that balance between allowing someone with PTSD to move through their symptoms, while also holding their hand to help them pick themselves back up. I can appreciate that its difficult to see someone you love suffer, but telling that person to get over it or shaming them for what theyre experiencing only makes the process harder for the person experiencing symptoms. Meeting them where they are, and saying things like, Ive got you, Let me help you breathe, or whatever resonates best for your loved one helps make those most challenging moments easier. Susannah Pitman

You May Like: Does Anxiety Go Away On Its Own

Key Issues In Ptsd Relationships

No matter the type of PTSD relationship you and your loved one may find yourselves in, most PTSD relationships will encounter a similar set of difficulties to manage.

Some of these issues will become more pronounced in those people who are less accepting of their PTSD diagnosis or who remain largely untreated. And many of these problems can even arise within the relationship well before a formal diagnosis of PTSD is uncovered.

You may be familiar with at least a few of the following struggles.;Or perhaps youll tick of every last one.

Dont be discouraged.;PTSD relationships can continue to thrive despite the daunting statistics and the many obstacles.

Tip 6: Support Treatment

Helping Your Spouse With PTSD

Despite the importance of your love and support, it isnt always enough. Many people who have been traumatized need professional PTSD therapy. But bringing it up can be touchy. Think about how youd feel if someone suggested that you needed therapy.

Wait for the right time to raise your concerns. Dont bring it up when youre arguing or in the middle of a crisis. Also, be careful with your language. Avoid anything that implies that your loved one is crazy. Frame it in a positive, practical light: treatment is a way to learn new skills that can be used to handle a wide variety of PTSD-related challenges.

Emphasize the benefits. For example, therapy can help them become more independent and in control. Or it can help reduce the anxiety and avoidance that is keeping them from doing the things they want to do.

Focus on specific problems. If your loved one shuts down when you talk about PTSD or counseling, focus instead on how treatment can help with specific issues like anger management, anxiety, or concentration and memory problems.

Acknowledge the hassles and limitations of therapy. For example, you could say, I know that therapy isnt a quick or magical cure, and it may take a while to find the right therapist. But even if it helps a little, it will be worth it.

Encourage your loved one to join a support group. Getting involved with others who have gone through similar traumatic experiences can help some people with PTSD feel less damaged and alone.

Recommended Reading: How To Break The Cycle Of Health Anxiety

Effects Of Ptsd On Relationships If Both Partners Have Ptsd

The effects of posttraumatic stress disorder on relationships when both partners have PTSD create both problems and benefits. Living in the aftermath of trauma is difficult enough on its own, but navigating a relationship in which both partners have PTSD can be an emotional minefield. Fortunately, learning how to be in a relationship with someone who has PTSD is easier to understand when you live with PTSD too.

My husband and I both have PTSD. Though it may sound strange, sharing PTSD is part of the reason we bonded so quickly after we met . Although we developed posttraumatic stress disorder as the result of different–but not wholly dissimilar–traumas, we have some of the same symptoms, and are able to understand the daily burden of pain we each experience. Love is not only based on positivity and tenderness; being understood is powerfully attractive as well.

In my experience, the effects of PTSD on relationships when living with a partner who also has PTSD have both benefits and pitfalls. This checks out with the experiences of other couples I’ve interviewed and read about. I’m not a psychological expert, but the following is a list of the benefits and disadvantages I’ve gathered about being involved with someone who also has PTSD.

What Can You Expect When Dating Someone With Ptsd

Again, every situation is different, but in some cases dating someone with PTSD can take a real toll on a relationship, as there may be decreased intimacy, extreme clinginess, and/or isolation patterns. Someone with PTSD might have a hard time managing their emotions, as startled responses, extreme irritability, bouts of sadness and crying, panic attacks, and avoidance behaviors are all common ways of coping with the disorder, says psychologist , PsyD.

For some people, PTSD can even make you hesitant to go to specific places or avoid certain people, says Douglas.

Typically speaking, people who go through PTSD often detach from reality, whether it’s because they’re experiencing flashbacks or they’re just struggling with symptoms of depression, anxiety, or trauma. And if your partner with PTSD experiences flashbacks or struggles with another similar symptom, this could reduce the amount of intimacy in a relationshippotentially creating conflict for the other partner who feels like their needs are not being met.

But while this all sounds very negative, the good news is that people with PTSD might be more in-tune with their emotions and triggers if they are in treatment, says Beecroft. This means theres a good chance they already have a healthy sense of self-awareness.

Recommended Reading: What Is A Ptsd Episode Like

Remember That Words Matter

PTSD sufferers live in a particularly delicate place. Managing the mental and environmental triggers, traumatic re-experiencing, anxiety, and low mood can get to be too much. A partner who is compassionate and careful not to take many of their responses personally makes a big difference.

That isnt to say that abusive language or emotionally flooded conflict should be tolerated. Be honest and communicate that his or her words are hurtful. But recognize, too, that PTSD is intense and deeply internal, not something your partner is trying to do to you. Offer each other grace and forgiveness often, while you are pursuing treatment. Concentrate on listening more and fixing or controlling each other less.

First Off What Is Ptsd

Do You Have C

For those of you who don’t know, PTSD stands for post traumatic stress disorder. It’s a mental health disorder that occurs after an individual experiences or witnesses a terrifying or traumatic event themselves, learns a loved one experienced or witnessed a traumatic event, or is in whatever way exposed to other people’s trauma, says psychotherapist Elizabeth Beecroft, LMSW.

And while PTSD may be most commonly associated with military experience, it can also stem from racial trauma, sexual assaults, watching videos or witnessing individuals being hurt, domestic abuse, and more.

PTSD can last for months or even years with symptoms that include flashbacks of the event, avoidance of triggers, nightmares, severe anxiety or depression, and other intense emotional or physical responses, says Beecroft.

It’s important to note that everyone’s PTSD looks different depending on an individual’s circumstance, thoughso what may be a trigger for one person could very possibly not be a trigger for another.

Don’t Miss: How Do You Know You Have An Eating Disorder

How Can Parents Help

Above all, your child needs your support and understanding. Sometimes other family members like parents and siblings will need support too. While family and friends can play a key role in helping someone recover, help usually is needed from a trained therapist.

Here are some other things parents can do to support kids with PTSD:

Encourage Seeking An Assessment And Help

The first step to take when living with someone with PTSD is to encourage them to seek an assessment by a suitably qualified mental health professional as soon as possible.

To get the diagnosis of PTSD their symptoms have to match those described in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders .

Bear in mind that they can have many of the symptoms of PTSD without actually having the disorder. Its possible for them to suffer just as much as someone diagnosed with the actual disorder.;This is due to the vagaries and limitations of the DSM.

If your spouse has not had been offered treatment right away, you could suggest that they start with online counselling .

Recommended Reading: How To Get Help For Ptsd

Is Anxiety Causing You To Overwork

5. How Long the Infidelity Has Been Going On

An affair that is quickly confessed along with true remorse and the desire to do whatever is necessary to help the betrayed partner heal, has the best chance of success if it never happens again.

On the other hand, a partner who finds out that the betrayal has been going on for weeks or months, or even that it is still active, is fundamentally more damaged and finds it much harder to heal. For most women, it is not just a passing affair any more. It is a fully developed relationship of secrecy, passion, and emotional connection, stealing love and commitment from the existing partnership. For most men, it is the sabotage of being cuckolded by another male who has taken his woman from under his eyes and sold him out as a brother.

The person outside of the primary relationship, who has been willing to be a co-betrayer, often feels that he or she has claimed possession of the infidel. That individual may not be willing to be dismissed and can become a deterrent to a relationships potential healing.

* * * * *

Given the seriousness of these potential emerging issues and the ways they may combine, it is understandable how much influence they may have in whether or not the relationship can heal and over what period of time.

How do two people who do not want to lose their relationship navigate the process of broken trust to a possibility of reconciliation?

How does a betrayed partner ever learn to believe the other again?

Signs Of Ptsd Following A Toxic Relationship

“Do I Have PTSD Because Of My Life & Relationships?” | Psychotherapy Crash Course

Many people are familiar with the term post-traumatic stress disorder , but few may realize that they may be suffering from it. Its commonly recognized that military veterans may experience PTSD, but they are not the only group of people who may suffer from it. Experiencing any traumatic event in life can lead to developing PTSD, such as childhood abuse, a car accident, domestic violence, or a toxic relationship.

PTSD includes symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares about the trauma, avoiding situations associated with the traumatic event, feeling nervous or irritable, and an increase in negative thoughts and feelings. These are general symptoms that can be exhibited in a variety of ways, especially depending on what kind of traumatic event youve experienced. Think you may have PTSD from your past toxic relationship? Look out for these five signs.

Recommended Reading: Why Does Weed Give Me Anxiety

What Should I Expect When Dating Someone With Ptsd

While PTSD affects everyone differently, here are some items your partner may be experiencing:

#1 Flashbacks

People who experience PTSD often relive moments of their traumatic event. They may have flashbacks of the actual event, or nightmares surrounding the event. Many things can trigger a flashback, such as a symbolic reminder of the event. For example it may be a date, a sound, a smell, a word or more. Frequent, intrusive thoughts of the event may play in their mind. PTSD doesnt just affect the mind it can affect the body too. People with PTSD may feel actual physical sensations when experiencing a flashback, such as pain or nausea.

#2 Avoidance

People with PTSD have experienced trauma, and they may seek to avoid the feelings of distress caused by trauma. Avoidance comes in many different packages. People with PTSD may use alcohol or drugs as a coping mechanism. They may cut themselves off from family or friends, or they may avoid anything that reminds them of the trauma. They may feel physically or emotionally numb, or even detached from their body.

#3 Feeling on edge

People with PTSD may experience symptoms that people with anxiety experience. They may feel overly alert, on edge, jumpy or startled. They may have troubles sleeping or concentrating.

#4 Difficult Beliefs & Feelings

Replies To Is There A Time Limit For Ptsd After Infidelity

  • JennetOctober 17, 2020

    I feel for you so much. I. Only 10 months in from DD and feel pretty much the way you do. But I have just discoveredf through Linda and Doug an author called Andrew G. Marshall his books are fantastic you can get them from Amazon I am sure they will be a tremendous help. I wish I had known about him at the beginning of my journey.

  • DsOctober 18, 2020

    The two of you should call her together and tell her what the situation is. You can always file harassment charges. You are better than me. I flipped out that they took it underground. PTSD we are talking about. Its almost 2 years and my therapist say I need intensive outpatient therapy. I am agoraphobic, can barely do anything but art therapy. Would anyone like a painted bottle lol.

  • CamperOctober 18, 2020

    Thanks. I have been keeping a journal and indeed, that helps. I also have written several letters to my H essentially Plan B letters but so far, have not given them to him. I also wrote a letter to the AP, also never sent. Just a way for me to vent.

    The exercise is a splendid idea and I need to do more of that.

    BTW, early 60s, married 25+ years, together 35ish. Not like a lady my age can start all over!

  • May 29, 2017

    How are you now. Its been years since this post. I started my recovery fall if 2013.Its been almost 4 years. I go feel better but still have triggers. I feel some people are more emotional vested than others. Do have deeper emotional repairs to do

  • RodDecember 17, 2018
  • Read Also: What Does It Mean To Be Clinically Depressed

    More articles

    Popular Articles