How To Set Boundaries With A Bipolar Person

Other Ways To Help Someone With Bipolar Disorder

You can also support your loved one by:

Learning about bipolar disorder. Learn everything you can about the symptoms and treatment options. The more you know about bipolar disorder, the better equipped you’ll be to help your loved one and keep things in perspective.

Encouraging the person to get help. The sooner bipolar disorder is treated, the better the prognosis, so urge your loved one to seek professional help right away. Don’t wait to see if they will get better without treatment.

Being understanding. Let your friend or family member know that you’re there if they need a sympathetic ear, encouragement, or assistance with treatment. People with bipolar disorder are often reluctant to seek help because they don’t want to feel like a burden to others, so remind the person that you care and that you’ll do whatever you can to help.

Showing patience. Getting better takes time, even when a person is committed to treatment. Don’t expect a quick recovery or a permanent cure. Be patient with the pace of recovery and prepare for setbacks and challenges. Managing bipolar disorder is a lifelong process.

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What Does It Mean If Your Partner Is Bipolar

Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition marked by intense mood changes. People with the illness switch back and forth from mania or hypomania to having episodes of depression.

The lifelong condition tends to run in families, although the cause of bipolar disease is unknown. However, it can often be successfully managed through treatment. There are two primary types of bipolar disorder:

Whereand Howdo I Draw The Line

Establishing boundaries is a challenge for me. Maybe if I understood this better, I would be more successful both at work and in my relationships?

Personal boundaries are dynamic. For the average person, boundaries mean distinguishing ones self, or ego , from that of others. Psychodynamic theory proclaims the id to be the primitive elements of desire, while the ego negotiates the world and its boundaries. Boundaries may be self-imposed or set by an external authority.

Sigmund Freud, the founder of the psychodynamic approach to psychology, described the human psyche as made up of these three aspectsthe primitive, impulsive id the reasonable, decision-making ego and the superego, which incorporates the values and morals of society and seeks to mediate between the chaotically self-absorbed id and the rigidly rational ego.

Boundaries can be a challenge at the best of times, but in the context of bipolar disorder, boundaries are often shattered by mood swings. At one end of the spectrum, dilute boundaries can lead to dangerous situations, while at the other extreme, impenetrable boundaries can prevent loved ones from helping in times of need.

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Keep Your Expectations Realistic

How To Deal With A Bipolar Co

While co-parenting with someone who has bipolar can be daunting, there are things that you can do that will make the process smoother. Consider the following if you are co-parenting.

Set boundaries. Both you and your child should set boundaries with the bipolar parent. If something is making you uncomfortable or upset, tell them. Setting boundaries prevents previous disruptive behavior from occurring again.

Be a calming presence. Often a child can be overwhelmed by the extreme mood swings of their bipolar parent, especially if there is mania involved. Make a special effort to be the calm and balanced anchor in your childs life. This will help them to deal with the highs and lows of the other parent a lot more easily, and provide them with some much-needed stability.

Talk to your child about mental health: Have open and honest conversations with your child about mental health and mental illness. This will help them to understand what is going on. It can also be a space in which they can express themselves and how they feel within this situation.

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Never Put Up With Abuse

This applies with equal force to both parties. The stress bipolar persons put their partners through can be interpreted as a form of abuse. Each partner has the right to set their own boundaries, make their own rules, interpret abuse as they see fit. Ultimately each has the right to leave the relationship if their needs are not being met. If you think you may be a victim of domestic abuse, reach out to a hotline.

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Realize The Importance Of Boundaries

Healthy, effective personal boundaries reflect our individual values and are essential for supportive, meaningful relationships with anyone in our circle.

How so? By nurturing our personal agency, rejecting violence against both our physical person and sense of self, safeguarding our emotional well-being, and ultimately allowing us to participate as solid, reliable partners in any kind of relationship.

Typically, with people who have weak boundaries, or none at all, resentment will build and build, and then they will do something drastic to relieve their pain:

• cut off the relationship,
• stop being friends with the person,
• get a divorce, and so on.

Or the resentment will build up in their body, causing either depression or body pain .

Such stark actions and personal suffering can be prevented once we recognize the value in identifying and sustaining strong personal boundaries.

Tip : Establish Boundaries

During a manic or depressive episode, your partner may not be able to think clearly or make sound decisions. Its important to set boundaries during these times and let them know what you are and what you are not comfortable with. This includes things like spending money, going out, gambling, or drinking.

Its also important to set boundaries about what you will and will not talk about during an episode. Some things may be too painful or difficult for your partner to talk about when theyre not in a good place. Respect these boundaries and dont push your partner to talk about things theyre not ready to.

Its also important to remember that just because your partner is experiencing symptoms of bipolar disorder it doesnt mean theyre being intentionally hurtful or manipulative. The best thing you can do during these times is to practice patience and understanding, but also let them know what behaviors are not okay with you.

A good way of setting boundaries with bipolar disorder is to make a list. List all the symptoms you can think of and put them in order from least distressing to most distressing. This will help your partner understand what they might need to do for you during those times and what other people close to you, like friends or family members, should be aware of as well. Its also important to talk about how both of you feel when symptoms occur because there may be things that trigger these symptoms.

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You Know Its Time To Set Some Boundaries When

• You are being abused or taken advantage of in any wayphysically, emotionally, sexually or financially.
• Someone is walking all over you, treating you like a doormat.
• You feel as if someone else is controlling you.
• Someone is overly involved in your life.
• You feel frustrated, angry or hurt by anothers actions.
• Someone is treating you in a condescending manner.

Get Involved With Treatment

Ask if you can be involved with your partners treatment, which may include occasionally going to the psychiatrist together. Being a part of your partners treatment has multiple benefits, including:

• Gaining a better understanding of the illness.
• Providing additional insight for the psychiatrist.
• Learning to spot signs of impending episodes.
• Alerting the psychiatrist about mood changes.

Even if your partner hasnt signed off on you exchanging information with their psychiatrist, you can still report worrisome signs . This gives the doctor a chance to make quick medication changes that may help your partner avoid being hospitalized.

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How Can You Help Someone With Bipolar Disorder

Dealing with the ups and downs of bipolar disorder can be difficultand not just for the person with the illness. The moods and behaviors of a person with bipolar disorder affect everyone aroundespecially family members and close friends. It can put a strain on your relationship and disrupt all aspects of family life.

During a manic episode, you may have to cope with reckless antics, outrageous demands, explosive outbursts, and irresponsible decisions. And once the whirlwind of mania has passed, it often falls on you to deal with the consequences. During episodes of depression, you may have to pick up the slack for a loved one who doesnt have the energy to meet responsibilities at home or work.

The good news is that most people with bipolar disorder can stabilize their moods with proper treatment, medication, and support. Your patience, love, and understanding can play a significant part in your loved ones treatment and recovery. Often, just having someone to talk to can make all the difference to their outlook and motivation.

But caring for a person with bipolar disorder can also take a toll if you neglect your own needs, so its important to find a balance between supporting your loved one and taking care of yourself.

Supporting Someone Who Is Manic

• Spend time with your loved one. People who are manic often feel isolated from other people. Spending even short periods of time with them helps. If your loved one has a lot of energy, walk together. This allows your loved one to keep on the move but still share your company.
• Answer questions honestly. However, do not argue or debate with someone during a manic episode. Try to avoid intense conversation.
• Don’t take any comments personally. During manic episodes, your loved one may say or do things that are out of character, including focusing on negative aspects of others. Try to avoid arguments.
• Prepare easy-to-eat meals and drinks. It’s often difficult for someone who is manic to sit down to a meal, so try offering them sandwiches, apples, cheese crackers, and juices, for example.
• Avoid subjecting your loved one to a lot of activity and stimulation. It’s better to keep surroundings as quiet as possible.
• Allow your loved one to sleep whenever possible. During periods of high energy, sleeping is difficult but short naps taken throughout the day can help. Sometimes a person who is manic may feel rested after only a few hours of sleep.

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Be Calm And Strong When You Talk About Your Boundaries

Bipolar Relationships: What To Expect

Ups and downs are natural in any romantic relationship, but when your partner has bipolar disorder it can feel like youre on an emotional rollercoaster. Not knowing what to expect each day is stressful and tiring. Over time, it wears on the relationship.

Understanding why your partner acts out sometimes or becomes withdrawn is the first supportive step you can take in strengthening your relationship. Learn exactly what a bipolar diagnosis means, how it could affect your partners behavior and what you can do to foster a healthy, stable relationship.

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Helping A Family Member With Bipolar Disorder

Once often referred to as manic depression, the National Institute of Mental Health describes bipolar disorder as a condition that results in sudden, inexplicable shifts in traits like a persons mood, activity, ability to concentrate, and ability to complete daily tasks. Without treatment, symptoms can inhibit someones quality of life and potentially place their safety at risk.

If you have a family member who is living with bipolar disorder, you may be wondering of ways that you can help them manage their condition. By supporting them, educating yourself, and setting healthy boundaries, you can become an effective support for them during their treatment.

Convincing A Person With Bipolar Disorder To See A Doctor

Aside from offering emotional support, the best way to help your loved one with bipolar disorder is by encouraging and supporting treatment. Often, that can be more of a challenge than it sounds. Since people with bipolar disorder tend to lack insight into their condition, it’s not always easy to get them to a doctor. When your loved one is manic, they feel great and don’t realize there’s a problem. When your loved one is depressed, they may recognize something’s wrong, but often lack the energy to seek help.

If your loved one won’t acknowledge the possibility of bipolar disorder, don’t argue about it. The idea may be frightening to them, so be sensitive. Suggest a routine medical checkup instead, or a doctor’s visit for a specific symptom, such as insomnia, irritability, or fatiguethen privately call ahead to tell the doctor of your concerns about bipolar disorder.

Things you can say that might help:

• Bipolar disorder is a real illness, like diabetes. It requires medical treatment.
• You’re not to blame for bipolar disorder. You didn’t cause it. It’s not your fault.
• You can feel better. There are many treatments that can help.
• When bipolar disorder isn’t treated, it usually gets worse.

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How To Say No

There are many ways to say ânoâ:

• Just say âno.â No wavering. No second-guessing. Just no.
• âI wonât be able to make it I have another commitment.â
• âThank you, Iâm not able to take that on right now.â
• âThanks for thinking of me, but I have to say no.â
• âWhile I loved being a part of the last presentation, public speaking really isnât my thing, so I wonât do it this year.â
• âIâm sorry, I canât make it.â
• “I can’t do that.”
• âThank you for thinking of me for this project. I canât take more work on right now, but I would love to be considered for other things in the future.â
• âThat sounds really interesting, and Iâd be happy to do it, but that means I wonât be able to submit the report by Friday. Can we talk about changing the priorities of some of my responsibilities?â

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What Happens If You Divorce

If divorce seems like the only option for you and your bipolar co-parent, you might be wondering how mental illness will affect divorce proceedings. During the proceedings and before any settlements, if you can prove that the bi-polar renders the other parent unfit to care for the child, you can receive a temporary child custody order.

From there, if you carry this proof that it is unsafe for the child to be around the bipolar parent into custody negotiations, then you may be awarded full custody. If the judge deems the bipolar disorder to be managed enough for supervised visitation or partial custody, then this may be awarded to the bipolar parent.

It is ultimately about the safety of the child, and if you have legitimate concerns and can provide evidence, then the court will take this into account.