Tuesday, July 9, 2024

What To Say To Depressed People

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Ask Them Nicely To Consider Talking To A Doctor

Things Not To Say To Someone With Depression

Ask them nicely to consider talking to a doctor because doctors are professionals. They know what the best treatment is.

They are trained to know how to take care of their patients. They can give your friend the best chance for a good outcome. If its early enough, they can even get rid of their symptoms altogether.

The individual may not be willing to listen at first. They might feel like they know whats best and be very defensive about it.

This is why you need to make them comfortable enough with you so that they will at least consider talking to a doctor.

You can say, Youre a good person and I care about you. Im really sorry that youre going through this, but would you be willing to speak to a doctor about what youre going through?

Youre Important To Me

Its always nice to know youre loved or wanted. When someones depressed, they may feel the exact opposite.

Thats why telling someone that theyre important to you, that you need them in their life, and that they matter can be so comforting. You can also be more specific about what you love about them or how you appreciate them for something they do.

Im Not Going To Abandon You

On top of shame, your loved one may fear loss of relationships due to struggling with depression. He or she may think youll someday feel overburdened and leave. Say often that youre in this for the long haul and that you will not abandon them in this time of need. Your friend needs you now more than ever, and it is up to you to reciprocate that.

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Assure Them That Theres Hope

One of the most important things about depression is that they need to learn to cope with it. And also to always remember that even if life seems tough now, it will get better.

It wont hurt forever, so its important to assure them that theres hope.

Help them realize that its an illness, not something they bring upon themselves .

Professionals can help and set up a plan to get things under control, and you can play your part by saying, Your feelings are real and I want to be here to help you through it. I believe that one day youll be okay, the darkness will go away, and your days will be bright again.

What To Say To Someone Who Is Depressed:

53 Useful Things to Say to Someone with Depression in English

Youre not going to be able to make someones depression go away but by being supportive, you can help.

Offer your support with care

One of the ways you can help is to ask, How can I best support you in this moment? Empower them to share with you the help they need, says Dr. Crawford. For example, their biggest concern might be how they cant be the best parent they can be in that moment, and maybe theyll ask you to babysit the kids for an afternoon.

Dr. Crawford adds, If they decline, dont take that as They dont need my help, and back away. Keep offering and asking. If they say no the first few times, they may accept the next timethey may be ready at that point to accept help. And in the meantime, youre sending the message that you care. By offering help youre letting the person know that youre there for them. Youre sending the message that they matter, that their life matters.

You can also offer specific suggestions in a non-pushy way for example, Im running to the supermarketcan I pick up some stuff for you? Or I made two lasagnashow about I drop one off for you and your kids? Or you might ask them what time of day is hardest for them, and offer help that takes that into consideration. Again, dont push it if they decline, but keep coming back.

Also Check: How To Overcome Depression Without Medication

You Dont Need To Do Anything That Makes You Uncomfortable

Feeling pressured into something, such as social situations when youre feeling depressed can be incredibly upsetting. You may feel obliged to appear cheerful, which can be very difficult. Knowing these events can be avoided for the time being can help a person feel relaxed and allow them the time to focus on their own health.

Remind Them That You Value Them

Depression can make people think that theyre not worth anything. That is why you need to tell them that they matter and that you care about them. It may take time, but they will realize how much you love them.

You can do this by telling them each day that you care about them and appreciate them for who they are. Make sure to say it in different ways.

Say things like Im here for you or I love talking to you or even Im doing this for you, not because I have to.

Focusing on the positive aspects of their life can help them remember that they are important people. Asking about what makes them happy can brighten up their day.

Showing genuine interest in things they like will make them feel like you care and like youre someone they can trust. And to say, You matter and I want you to know that.

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Is There Anything I Can Do To Help You

Since a symptom of depression is fatigue, your loved one may be too tired to do basic things. They may skip grocery shopping, which means they wont have healthy food to eat. Housework may be too much for them, and helping them tidy up could make a huge difference.

There are many tasks that most people take for granted that are a massive task for a depressed person. Offering to help can alleviate some stress and make them feel like they dont have so much to handle.

It Is Not Practical To Keep Children Away From Social Media

7 Things to Say to Someone With Depression

Dr Basudev Das, director of the Kanke-based Central Institute of Psychiatry , said that keeping children away from social media is not practical, but parents have to keep a watch. The head of the department of Ranchi Institute of Neuro-Psychiatry & Allied Sciences said that parents are not being able to give time to children and in order to cover that they are fulfilling the insistence of the children. Tensions are also being seen in the marital relationship.

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Would You Be Open To Talk To A Doctor About This

Saying something like this shows you consider their depression a real sickness and shows you care. Because many people believe depression is a fad, a statement such as this can be valid for someone who has the disease. Encourage them to visit a doctor and if they are reluctant, feel free to recommend one to them.

Although I Dont Understand How You Feel You Are Not Alone

It is common for people to say, I know how you feel. It is often said to show understanding and relatability. But the unique nature of depression means unless you have dealt with it before, the comment can come across as fake and patronizing. However, you can still establish the sentiment by reminding them they are not alone, and you are there for whatever they need.

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Be It Long Or Short All Seasons Change

You wont always feel this way. That was the perfect sentence that I could hear 50 times a day when I wanted out, out, out, of this world, says Therese J. Borchard, mental health advocate, author, and founder of the online depression community Project Hope & Beyond.

Those words dont judge, impose, or manipulate. What they do is convey hope, and HOPE is what keeps a person alive, or at least motivated to get to the next day to see if the light at the end of the tunnel is really a place of rebirth Borchard says.

What Are Some Things You Shouldnt Say To Someone With Depression

What to Say to Someone with Depression

Avoid shaming, blaming or invalidating the feelings of someone with depression, Dr. Jones said. Its tempting to offer advice, but it may not be helpful. When you tell someone with depression what they should do, it may feel like youre offering a solution, but it can heighten the feelings of guilt that people with depression often feel.

Saying something like, Just snap out of it, implies that the person with depression has chosen to feel the way they do. Of course, you should not say they are being selfish or that its their fault. And telling someone that other people have it worse may seem like its offering perspective, but it can be invalidating.

Avoid saying things like, You dont look sad, or You havent seemed depressed.People suffering from depression may try to put on a good face for the benefit of family and friends. Calling attention to that may make it harder to discuss how they are really feeling for fear of alienating people they trust. They might withdraw or feel embarrassed or confused, Dr. Jones said.

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Remind Them It’s Ok To Feel The Way They Feel

Even if your friend’s problems may seem minor to you, resist the urge to judge or come up with simple solutions. The biochemical imbalances associated with depression are what is driving how bad your friend feels about certain situationsnot necessarily the situations themselves.

Instead, let them know that you are sorry that they are feeling so badly and adopt an attitude of acceptance that this is how their depression is affecting them. If your friend only recently started taking medications or attending counseling, it can take time for them to begin to feel better.

Just as an antibiotic for strep throat takes a while to work, antidepressants can take some time to change chemicals in the brain .

During this time, what your friend needs most is not references to fast, easy solutions, but an awareness that you will be by their side through their treatment.

Final Thoughts On Text Messages To Send To Someone With Depression

Suffering from depression can cause people to feel alone, unwanted, unloved, and defeated. By merely letting them know you are thinking of them and care about them, you could help them. This could help pull them out of the dark place they are in.

Dont pretend to know how they are feeling, but be encouraging and let them know you are there. They will need a supportive friend to help them get through.

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Have You Tried X Or Y

Questions like Have you tried this essential oil? or Have you tried going out more? can easily give the wrong impression that you think the person isnt trying hard enough to manage their depression.

In reality, your friend or family member probably already heard that suggestion and either found it wasnt helpful or they arent interested in trying it for one reason or another. While one coping mechanism or even lifestyle change might be beneficial for one person, its not always as useful or meaningful for the next person, Geftman says.

Sometimes we have these assumptions about mental health assumptions like a person could get better or improve their depression if they just worked harder, had more money, lived in a different place, Miller says. For those who have experienced depression, you know that this is not the way it works … and it doesnt speak to the actual mechanics of depression.

In truth, there is no quick fix for what is a complicated mental health condition. Depression doesnt simply spring from feeling sad or going through a rough patch. Per the Mayo Clinic, there are many possible causes of depression, which often occur together. These include:

  • Changes in hormones due to pregnancy, menopause, thyroid issues, or other health conditions
  • Differences in the structure and function of the brain
  • Having a family history of depression

Urge Them To Talk With A Doctor

Best Things to Say to Someone Who is Depressed

Depression treatments are a very important part of recovering from depression, but people often feel ashamed of their condition or pessimistic about whether treatment will really help.

If your friend has not yet seen a doctor, encourage them to seek help and reassure them that there is nothing wrong with asking for assistance. Depression is a realand treatableillness.

If your friend is already seeing a doctor, offer to help with picking up medications and being on time for appointments.

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You Deserve To Feel Better

Its not uncommon for people to blame themselves for having depression. They may even be ashamed of it or think its a sign of weakness. Hearing that they deserve to feel better reinforces that depression is not their fault and may make them more willing to seek the care and treatment that feels right for them.

Some people may want to start by looking at natural ways to battle depression, while others might be ready to talk to a healthcare professional about anti-depressant meds.

Assure Them They’re Not Weak Or Defective

Those who are coping with depression tend to feel weak or that there is something wrong with them. While depression is an illness, those who live with it may feel that it’s a character flaw.

Reassure your friend that depression really is an illness caused by a biochemical imbalance in the brain, and it does not mean that they are weak. In fact, it takes a great deal of strength to fight back, so they are probably much stronger than they think they are.

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In The End Remember Your Goal

Westbrook reminds you of this very important note: “The goal is to get them back to being them,” she explains. “When they’re depressed, they’re no longer who they are they’re not doing the things they love, they’re not spending time with their loved ones. We want to remove the depression so they can get back to who they are.” Enter this conversation from a place of genuine love and compassion, educate yourself as much as possible, and be consistent with check in’s. Even if you’re met with resistance, they need you more than ever right now.

If You Believe Theyre Considering Suicide Or Self

7 Things Never to Say to a Person with Depression

Whether you share these with your friend or write them on sticky notes to leave around their home, some of these uplifting quotes could bring a little hope and brightness to a loved one with depression.

There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isnt.

John Green

One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone elses survival guide.

Brené Brown

If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.

Fred Rogers

It doesnt matter how slow you go as long as you dont stop.


Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.

Albert Einstein

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.


When one door closes another door opens but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.

Alexander Graham Bell

It is never too late to be what you might have been.

George Eliot

And if today all you did was hold yourself together, Im proud of you.


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Things You Should Never Say To Someone With Depression

Aayushi Kapoor

Depression is an unknown battle you never know the struggle of another person. We often get into a situation wherein we have to empathize with the depressed person. But, somehow we always end up saying something inappropriate. Some statements are really inappropriate that they can again trigger the symptoms of depression in a person who is already fighting with depression. And sometimes, we end up saying the worst things to someone fighting depression.

Most of the time, we unintentionally state some statements which are not good for the mental health of the person. Hence, we should always avoid the use of such statements and should not use them specifically with the person with depression. Therefore, I feel that there is a need of clarifying things you should never say to someone with depression.

In this blog, I have enlisted some wrong statements which we should never say to someone with depression. Additionally, I have also enlisted a mini guide for what to say to a depressed person. This guide will help you to have a productive conversation with a person who is already fighting depression blues. So, lets get started.

Simply Ask How They’re Doing

Yes, the answer might very well be “terrible,” but the experts encourage inviting a conversation by simply asking how your loved one is doing. Allow them to open up and really listen. Keyword: listen. “Think before you respond,” says Leaf. “Take at least 30-90 seconds to listen to what theyre saying because this is how long it takes the brain to process information. This way you do not react impassively.”

“When in doubt just listen don’t speak and never advise,” says Dr. Herrick. Obviously, you don’t want to be totally silent. While being a shoulder for a friend in need is an excellent way to be empathetic, try also saying things such as “I hear you.” If you’ve dealt with a mental health challenge before, you can also use this time to empathize and commiserate. Think: “I know how much this sucks I’ve been here, too.”

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