Thursday, June 16, 2022

What To Do When Someone Tells You They Are Depressed

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What Are The Signs And Symptoms Of Depression In Men

WHAT NOT TO DO (When Someone Tells You They’re Depressed)

Different men have different symptoms, but some common depression symptoms include:

  • Anger, irritability, or aggressiveness
  • Feeling anxious, restless, or on the edge
  • Loss of interest in work, family, or once-pleasurable activities
  • Problems with sexual desire and performance
  • Feeling sad, “empty,” flat, or hopeless
  • Not being able to concentrate or remember details
  • Feeling very tired, not being able to sleep, or sleeping too much
  • Overeating or not wanting to eat at all
  • Thoughts of suicide or suicide attempts
  • Physical aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems
  • Inability to meet the responsibilities of work, caring for family, or other important activities
  • Engaging in high-risk activities
  • A need for alcohol or drugs
  • Withdrawing from family and friends or becoming isolated

Not every man who is depressed experiences every symptom. Some men experience only a few symptoms while others may experience many.

How Can Friends And Family Help

This information is for friends and family who want to support someone with depression.

The support of friends and family can play a very important role in someone recovering from depression. Here are some suggestions for how you can help.

  • Support them to get help. You can’t force anyone to get help if they don’t want it, so it’s important to reassure your loved one that it’s OK to ask for help, and that there is help out there. See our pages on how to support someone else to seek help for their mental health for more information.
  • Be open about depression. Lots of people can find it hard to open up and speak about how they’re feeling. Try to be open about depression and difficult emotions, so your friend or family member knows that it’s OK to talk about what they’re experiencing.

“The best things that friends and family can do is simply listen. They often don’t need to say anything, just being willing to listen to your problems makes you feel less alone and isolated”

  • Keep in touch. It might be hard for your loved one to have the energy to keep up contact, so try to keep in touch. Even just a text message or email to let them know that you’re thinking of them can make a big difference to how someone feels.

“Talking… not even talking about how I felt. Just talking about stupid things that didn’t matter over coffee, without pressure and knowing that I can talk about the tough stuff if I want to.”

What To Say Instead: I Will Try My Best To Understand

You may not have experienced depression first hand, but this doesnt mean you cant sympathize or help someone living with it. The best thing my mum ever did was try to understand just how depression made me feel. Never at any point did she make me feel as though I wasnt trying hard to win my battle against mental health, however frustrating I expect it was for her to watch her daughter become a shell of her former self. The only thing she ever did was accept what I was telling her and be there for me. Try to learn, try to educate and try to help someone you love who is suffering.

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Dont Take Their Reaction Personally

So, what causes agoraphobia? Agoraphobia can be the result of either one or the combined efforts of the factors mentioned above. This condition can manifest differently in everyone, and as a person goes through therapy, theyre likely to work on additional issues that have contributed to their disorder. Because agoraphobia and most mental disorders have underlying contributing factors, our inpatient mental health rehab is a great place to learn what these factors are and develop the skills needed to manage this condition and get the most out of life.

Where Can I Find Clinical Trials For Depression

How To Tell If Someone Is Dealing With Depression? Be ...

Clinical trials are research studies that look at new ways to prevent, detect, or treat diseases and conditions. Although individuals may benefit from being part of a clinical trial, participants should be aware that the primary purpose of a clinical trial is to gain new scientific knowledge so others may receive better help in the future.

Researchers at the National Institute of Mental Health and around the country conduct many studies with patients and healthy volunteers. Talk to your health care provider about clinical trials, their benefits and risks, and whether one is right for you. For more information, visit NIMH’s clinical trials information.

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How Do You Actually Help Someone With Depression While Remaining Calm And Grounded Yourself What Would A Therapist Advise

Girl with the Green FaceGirl with the Green FaceGirl with the Green Face

Ive started cutting my wrists, my friend said on the phone one night. Im not eating. I dont want to be alive. Wed had many phone calls about her depression at this point her parents knew, I had talked for hours on the phone with her childhood friend to compare notes, and she was on medication and seeing a therapist. We had been through so much together, but on this one particular call, I didnt know what else to tell her. Thats not good, and I dont want you to do that, is all I could think to say, and I felt a void in my lungs as if all the air had been sucked out of my chest. Im so sorry, I want you to get better. I left for college a few weeks later and found myself texting rather than calling her back, waiting days and then weeks to respond to her texts so that our friendship slowly melted away. We were, by the time she tried to commit suicide, out of touch except for birthdays: She always remembered mine. I always forgot hers.

What follows is an exhaustive guide with evidence-based strategies and word-for-word scripts sourced from depression experts: things you can say and do if someone tells you theyre struggling or that they want to hurt themselves.

How To Talk To Someone About Depression

Sometimes it is hard to know what to say when speaking to someone about depression. You might fear that if you bring up your worries the person will get angry, feel insulted, or ignore your concerns. You may be unsure what questions to ask or how to be supportive.

If you dont know where to start, the following suggestions may help. But remember that being a compassionate listener is much more important than giving advice. You dont have to try to fix your friend or family member you just have to be a good listener. Often, the simple act of talking face to face can be an enormous help to someone suffering from depression. Encourage the depressed person to talk about their feelings, and be willing to listen without judgment.

Dont expect a single conversation to be the end of it. Depressed people tend to withdraw from others and isolate themselves. You may need to express your concern and willingness to listen over and over again. Be gentle, yet persistent.

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Having A Negative And Hopeless Outlook

The person you know may be more negative or pessimistic than usual, both about themselves and the world around them. They may also have a bleaker outlook, feel worthless or experience inappropriate guilt.

Depression can affect how a person feels about their life and the world around them. While most people will have positive and negative thoughts throughout a day, someone with depression is likely to constantly view the world negatively.

What You Cant Say To Avoid Hurting Their Feelings

How Do You Tell Someone That Youre Depressed?

It is important to understand the person who is depressed and see things from their perspective.

If you say something, no matter how well-intentioned, that puts down the person who is depressed, they will also likely feel hurt.

The person may already be putting themselves down which means they may not need to hear what someone else says about them.

Its best to avoid saying anything about their situation and try to offer encouragement to lift them back up instead. It is important not to hurt their feelings so it is best to avoid saying these words.

Also Check: Three Stages Of Schizophrenia

Dont Wait For Your Loved One To Come To You With Their Problems

When it comes to depression and suicide, there is no time to waste. If you are worried about a friend, speak up. Broaching a conversation about mental health with a loved one can only helpif you know the right things to say.

“Depression can affect a person’s ability to act on their own to get help,” explained Dr. Carol Olson, chair of the department of psychiatry at Maricopa Integrated Health System and a professor at the University of Arizona College of Medicine in Phoenix. “Often, the suffering person needs others to assist them to get treatment. One can begin by saying, ‘I notice you just don’t seem to be yourself lately, and I’m worried about you.'”

If youre worried about crossing a line, dont be. According to activist and TEDx speaker Ron Blake,It is better to say something than nothing to a friend who is in need. And that something can be as simple as, I dont know what to say but I want you to know I am here for you. That is incredibly powerful to someone who is in need of help.

Dont Take Things Personally

Your friends depression isnt your fault, just as its not their fault.

Try not to let it get to you if they seem to lash out at you in anger or frustration, keep canceling plans , or dont want to do much of anything.

You might, at some point, need a break from your friend. Its okay to take space for yourself if you feel emotionally drained, but its also important to avoid blaming your friend or saying things that might contribute to their negative feelings.

Instead, consider talking to a therapist or other supportive person about how you feel.

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How Is Depression Treated

Men often avoid addressing their feelings and, in many cases, friends and family members are the first to recognize that their loved one is depressed. It is important that friends and family support their loved one and encourage him to visit a doctor or mental health professional for an evaluation. A health professional can do an exam or lab tests to rule out other conditions that may have symptoms that are like those of depression. He or she also can tell if certain medications are affecting the depression.

The doctor needs to get a complete history of symptoms, such as when they started, how long they have lasted, how bad they are, whether they have occurred before, and if so, how they were treated. It is important that the man seeking help be open and honest about any efforts at self-medication with alcohol, non-prescribed drugs, gambling, or high-risk activities. A complete history should include information about a family history of depression or other mental disorders.

After a diagnosis, depression is usually treated with medications or psychotherapy, or a combination of the two. The increasingly-popular collaborative care approach combines physical and behavioral health care. Collaborative care involves a team of health care providers and managers, including a primary care doctor and specialists.

Find The Phone Number For A Therapist Or Sit With Your Friend When They Make The First Call

5 Things Not To Say To Someone Struggling With Depression

Mental illness, especially depression, can be debilitating, which is why it is important for you step up when your friends are unable to seek help for themselves. Dr. Beatrice Tauber Prior, a clinical psychologist, author, and founder of Harborside Wellbeing, suggests doing a little investigative work for your friend if you know theyre seriously depressed or considering suicide.

Do a search for qualified professionals that can intervene, she told HelloGiggles. The American Psychological Association lists qualified, trained psychologists that can help. If your friend mentions that they do not know where to begin in their search for a therapist, you will be ready with the names of trained professionals that can help.

Setting up appointments, making phone calls, and reaching out to strangers can be incredibly intimidating, especially during a mental health crisis.

“You can offer them encouragement and assistance with setting up an appointment with a mental health professional, or if its a crisis situation, offer to accompany them to the hospital,” said Dr. Raichbach.

Finally, if you find a therapist in your friends area but think theyre financially out of reach, ask if the therapist offers services on a sliding scale or can recommend another therapist who does.

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What Are The Different Types Of Depression

The most common types of depression are:

  • Major depressiondepressive symptoms that interfere with a man’s ability to work, sleep, study, eat, and enjoy most aspects of life. An episode of major depression may occur only once in a person’s lifetime. But it is common for a person to have several episodes. Special forms of major depression include:
  • Psychotic depressionsevere depression associated with delusions or hallucinations . These psychotic symptoms are depression-themed. For example, a man may believe he is sick or poor when he is not, or he may hear voices that are not real that say that he is worthless.
  • Seasonal affective disordercharacterized by depression symptoms that appear every year during the winter months when there is less natural sunlight.
  • Persistent depressive disorder depressive symptoms that last a long time but are less severe than those of major depression.
  • Minor depressionsimilar to major depression and persistent depressive disorder, but symptoms are less severe and may not last as long.
  • Bipolar Disorder is different from depression. It is included in this list because a person with bipolar disorder experiences episodes of extreme low moods . But a person with bipolar disorder also experiences extreme high moods .
  • How Can I Help What Can I Do For You

    One part of the way many people experience depression is that they have little motivation to do things that need to get done. Offer your support and direct assistance in getting something done for them. It might be picking up a prescription, a few groceries from the store, or simply getting the mail. Offer this help only if youre willing to do what is asked of you.

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    Get Involved With The Vandrevala Foundation

    We focus on setting up and building programs to show local authorities that mental health programs positively impact society. We invest in smart mental health projects in the early stages of development and build them until the government can scale projects to a larger audience. For any of the above, please write to Dr Arun John, Executive Vice President Vandrevala Foundation at

    *By sharing your email or phone number, you are giving consent to Vandrevala Foundation to contact you over phone or email

    Choose Who Youre Going To Tell

    How To Tell If Someone Is Depressed

    Although weve already gone over this before, decide who youre going to tell ahead of time. This conversation shouldn’t be casual unless youre okay with that. When discussing your depression, its a good idea to tell someone you trust – bonus points if theyre a good listener. But what happens when you have a parent, sibling, or friend who you want to tell but may not be as understanding? This situation can be scary, but sometimes the more difficult conversations are the most important. If you decide to talk about your depression with a not-so-understanding audience, you may need a little more preparation.

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    Let Them Know That You Care

    The most important thing you can do to help a friend with depression is to let them know that you care about them.

    To reach out and show your support, ask if they want to talk more, thank them for talking to you, or just spend time with them when they need it the most.

    You can say, I want to let you know that youre not alone in this. Im here for you and I care about you, whenever youre ready to talk about it.

    What Not To Say And Why

    I know exactly how you feel.Why? Because no one knows exactly how anyone else feels. This is not a helpful way to make someone feel understood when their depression has become overwhelming.

    Everyone gets depressed sometimes.Why? Because it sounds dismissive and its not true. Everyone gets sad sometimes or has a bad day. Everyone does not get depressed.

    You have no reason to be depressed.Why? Because it can make people feel guilty, ashamed, or like their feelings dont count. Life events can sometimes play a role, but depression often has no specific reason, trigger, or cause.

    Hang in there. It will pass.Why? Because its unhelpful and untrue. Chances are, theyve been feeling this way for some time, and it hasnt gotten better and thats why theyre asking for support.

    Dont be so negative. Think happy thoughts.Why? Because if it was that simple, depression wouldnt exist. This statement implies that depression is a choice which is false. You cant just will or wish it away.

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    What Not To Say: You Dont Look Depressed

    The fact that people genuinely believe depression has a look is almost laughable. People assume that when suffering with depression, you walk around with a permanent sad face. There is no specific way to look depressed, and dont buy into the cliché that people with depression are always a sobbing mess who cant get out of bed. In fact, people that are depressed spend a lot of time trying not to look depressed.

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