S To Recover From An Affair
Addressing the trauma caused by an affair is your first step towards recovery. From that calm place, you can then begin to evaluate your marriage and heal from the pain.
I am here to help you reclaim your calm after an affair and help you find your path to healing.
Earlier Trauma Can Make Symptoms Of Post Infidelity Trauma Disorder Even Worse
Unfortunately, the notion that time heals all wounds isnt true.
Furthermore, the way you respond to post infidelity trauma disorder may hurt you even deeper if it is somehow similar to another earlier traumatic or troubling experiences. In other words, trauma memories, feelings, and meanings may bubble up from something you experienced from your own earlier events.
Many people dont want to acknowledge this fact because they feel so hurt and betrayed and just wish to have the perfect relationship. Grieving the loss of a perfectly secure relationship can be devastating.
We are not always aware of past traumatic memories and how they trigger strong emotions. To name a few, your memories may be about your parents preoccupied with their own marital issues and how that experience left you feeling unworthy, alone, or insecure.
Remember that its not just about the here and now. When you are dealing with post infidelity trauma disorder, past trauma will easily get triggeredconsciously and unconsciouslywith strong and negative thoughts and emotions.
This type of reaction to trauma makes it evident that professional help is required.
Begin Trauma Counseling In Wake Forest Nc
You dont have to struggle in your marriage. You can heal from the trauma of infidelity and rebuild your relationship with your partner and trust each other again. Our can help you along this journey. Our Wake Forest, NC-based therapy practice would be honored to support you. To begin, follow these simple steps:
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Strategy : Take Care Of Your Body
Taking care of your body entails everything from eating well to taking time for self-care. Though they may seem unrelated, the body and mind are intricately connected. When you consistently meet your bodys needs for food, water, and rest, you are also taking care of your mind by building a strong base for your mental health and well-being.
You can begin by eating well and getting plenty of sleep. Proper nutrition is essential all throughout your lifenot just during times of stressand has been linked with improved mental health. Drink lots of water and eat healthy foods that contain vitamins and minerals .
Try to establish a regular routine so you know what to expect from day to day. This predictability will help as you move closer toward recovery.
You may also find it helpful to take time each day for yourself to relax and recharge. For example, read a good book instead of watching television, take a walk outside, or do something nice for another person.
Exercise is also one of the best ways to take care of your body. When you exercise regularly, you release endorphins that naturally boost your mood. Its also a great way to get rid of pent-up emotions.
As you put in the time and effort required to meet your bodys needs you are telling yourself that you are a valuable person worth taking care of!
Have You Recently Discovered That Your Partner Is Having An Affair And Are Looking To Understand How Surviving Infidelity Ptsd Is Possible Many People Are Surprised That Infidelity Can Cause Ptsd But It Is True Discovering Infidelity Causes Significant Trauma Trauma Akin To Physical Or Emotional Abuse Death Of A Child
Have you recently discovered that your partner is having an affair and are looking to understand how surviving infidelity PTSD is possible?
Many people are surprised that infidelity can cause PTSD but it is true. Discovering infidelity causes significant trauma, trauma akin to physical or emotional abuse, death of a child or parent or some other life changing occurrence.
Furthermore, the trauma that results from discovering infidelity can also bring up unresolved issues from past trauma, mixing with your present situation, to make the PTSD even worse.
It is very important that, if you are struggling with PTSD, you seek professional help. Unresolved trauma can rear its head over and over again. In the meantime, I am going to share with you the signs of PTSD and give you some recommendations about how surviving infidelity PTSD is possible.
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How To Deal With Ptsd
Dealing with PTSD might be one of the most difficult situations to go through after going through a traumatic experience.
Recovery can be very daunting and slow, but there are many processes and steps that can help you recover from PTSD.
It might take some time for you to get over the memories of the traumatic event, the feeling of anxiety, fear, and isolation, but recovering from PTSD is totally worth the process.
Mental Health Consequences Of Cheating
Part of the reason cheating comes as such as huge blow is because it actually impacts our mental health, causing increased symptoms of anxiety and depression, as well as other distress.
Infidelity is one of the most distressing and damaging events couples face, M. Rosie Shrout of the University of Nevada, Reno, told PsyPost following a study she co-authored on the impacts of infidelity. The person who was cheated on experiences strong emotional and psychological distress following infidelity.
In the study, which was published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Shrout and her research partner Daniel J. Weigel interviewed 232 college students who had recently experienced infidelity. Not only did their research discover adverse mental health consequences, but those who had been cheated on increased symptomatic behaviors such as poor eating habits, substance use, unsafe sex, or over-exercise.
When we look at what causes the psychological distress, it largely comes down to broken trust, decreased self-esteem, feelings of abandonment, and a loss of control, according to New York-based psychotherapist and relationship expert Lisa Brateman. We question how we could have missed the signs and often blame ourselves for the cheating partners behavior.
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Telling People To Stop Talking To You
Telling people to please just shut up and do not touch me. To be honest, I do not think it is such an impolite thing to do, I find it more impolite by others to insist on touching and trying to rush me when I have flashbacks or a bad moment and am in pain and am just trying to get some space and air to breathe but others, unfortunately, seem to perceive it as quite impolite. Leila B.
Sometimes I go into sensory overload and can no longer process things especially when people ask a ton of questions in a row! So I have to say I cant handle any more questions at the moment. Briana W.
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Want Advice Specific To Your Situation
While this article explores the most common ways to overcome being cheat on, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like infidelity in a relationship. Theyre a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge.
How do I know?
Well, I reached out to Relationship Hero a few months ago when I was going through a tough patch in my own relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation. .
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Relation To Attachment Theory
Though experts originally applied the concept of betrayal trauma to children betrayed by caregivers, it became clear that this type of trauma could also happen in other relationships.
Lets take a step back to the basics of attachment theory attachment comes before betrayal, after all.
Your earliest childhood relationships are so significant because they lay the groundwork for later relationships. When these bonds are strong and secure, they pave the way toward secure attachments in adulthood.
Insecure bonds, on the other hand, often lead to shaky or troubled relationships.
A parent bringing a child into the world has a responsibility to protect and care for that child. This responsibility forms an unspoken agreement between parent and child. The child looks to the parent to prioritize their well-being, and they typically trust their parents entirely until the parent lets them down.
These relationships also rest on agreements the boundaries defining the relationship. Partners in a monogamous relationship, for example, generally have some shared understanding of what defines cheating and agree to trust each other not to cheat.
A partner who cheats betrays the terms of that understanding.
Can Infidelity Cause Ptsd
The person who was cheated on may meet the criteria for PTSD and experience trauma-related symptoms such as rage, humiliation, intrusive images and flashbacks, preoccupation, emotional numbing, heightened anxiety to triggers, erratic behavior and sudden mood swings, and difficulty with sleep and concentration.2
Reliving and being triggered by the event can bring on overwhelming worries and fears.2 Anxiety related to post-infidelity trauma is also chronic and persistent.3 In some cases, a persons natural psychological defenses end up being overwhelmed, leaving them unable to function in a healthy manner.3
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Has Anyone Experienced Being Cheated On And Having Some Sort Of Ptsd 22
alwaysthinking111 · 15/07/2020 15:20
Hi allI was married for 6 years, together for 15 years. Met very young, thought he was my forever etc etc. He cheated on me in the last 3 years of our relationship, I stayed with him for a bit but couldn’t forgive him. We ended it and a year and a half later I met someone and we’ve been together for 3 years. I’ve had my issues with him, I’ve often seen him looking at women, he’s looked at porn a bit but no reason why I think he would be cheating. All of which I’ve told him I don’t like. But just lately my mind is constantly wondering if he is cheating on me I’ve always got a plan in my head of what I will do if he does . But I honestly feel like I’ve got ptsd from when things happened to me before. I feel like it’s going to happen again and I’ve got to be ready. How do I get over this?
RLEOM · 16/07/2020 23:28
After our baby was born, my now-ex would flirt with his female friend in front of me, in our home, week after week. They were having an affair. He’d look me in the eye when he was flirting with her, like he was getting a buzz out of seeing me hurt. I left when our DD was 3 months old. Two years later, I still have random daily flashbacks of them flirting and I’ll be reduced to tears. I’m sure this is PTSD as the rest of my life is fine. I’m over him but my brain is not over what he done.
FoookinHell · 17/07/2020 01:02
TossACoinToYerWitcher · 17/07/2020 01:11
mpsw · 17/07/2020 21:56
Selfraising · 17/07/2020 21:58
How Can Marriage Counseling Help Both People Prepare Their Communication And Reduce Conflict
From identifying what you feel with your counselor, you can more clearly communicate what you need with your partner and your spouse. If you are yelling and upset, your partner will not be able to understand what you need. As well, when you are highly emotional, angry, or frustrated, it might be harder for you to understand what you are feeling. In holistic counseling session, you can feel safe unloading and gaining clarity to better communicate your needs. Lastly, PTSD marriage therapy can support gentle conversations.
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You Must Care For Yourself
Caretakers in relationships with people with PTSD often forget to take care of themselves.
I developed guilt associated with personal fulfillment or enjoyment, because its easy to get sucked into an unhealthy cycle.
When I wanted to hang out with friends without having to spend an hour talking D. down or not check in consistently while I was traveling for work to let him know I was safe, I felt guilty.
The partner of someone with PTSD will have to be strong a lot of the time. To do this, you must take care of your own mental health.
Wen agrees. When youre in a caretaker role, you have to put the mask on yourself first, she says. It must be a conscious effort to carve out time for yourself. The caretaker has to stay strong if they are to become a support system, and they need to have support and healthy outlets to maintain that.
After years of baby steps forward and monumental steps back, I ultimately made the decision to end the relationship.
It wasnt because I dont love D. I love him and miss him every moment.
But the issues surrounding PTSD that needed to be addressed called for dedicated commitment, time, and the help of a professional things he didnt say he was opposed to. Still, he never made the choices to show he was ready.
The guilt, sadness, and feeling of defeat were all encompassing. For two months I barely left my apartment. I felt like I failed him.
Flashbacks Can Use Your Imagination Against You
When I speak to my clients in the aftermath of infidelity, most talk about flashbacks. You might think that flashbacks only happen to those who saw the traumatic liaisons. Not so.
If you have flashbacks of your partner having sex with another in their work office, you arent alone. These mental images can be vivid and are not limited to what a hurt partner saw or heard. Thus, Ive seen hurt partners with infidelity PTSD who experience flashbacks of imagined situations.
So, just because you didnt see them together is immaterial. The images can intrude on your peace of mind as though you were in the room.
Still, its important to recognize that seeing real messages, pictures, videos, does have a higher chance of causing flashbacks.
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What Does Research Say About How Cheating Affects A Man
No matter who you are, you can still be impacted by infidelity.
One study that looked at gender differences in response to infidelity found that women tend to be more distressed by emotional affairs, and men tend to become more distressed over physical affairs.
This difference in response to emotional versus sexual infidelity is reinforced by an extensive study on infidelity with approximately 64,000 participants, which had similar findings.
This study also examined the impact that cheating has on gay, lesbian, and bisexual people. There was no significant gender difference in degrees of upset over infidelity among LGB+ folks.
Is It Possible To Have Ptsd From Being Cheated On
- Thread starterLeah H.
Deleted member 1860
Moderatorone Dozens of disorders are listed under Trauma & Stress.anyone
ModeratorCriterion A: stressor
Moderatoralso you years all of the symptoms
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Strategy : Practice Accepting And Naming Your Emotions
When we hear the word betrayal it can bring up a lot of negative emotions . When people experience these intense feelings from traumatic events, they typically try to make them go away in any way possible.
Accepting unpleasant feelings is an important part of dealing with betrayal trauma. Try to face your feelings head-on and acknowledge them as they arise. This means naming how you feel without judgment or blame .
Although it can be painful at first, learning how to accept difficult emotions, such as those related to betrayal, will allow you to move through them and regain control of your life.
Accepting doesnt mean that you like your feelings or approve of the situation rather, it means acknowledging that difficult emotions will come and go as part of the healing process.
Naming your emotions can help make them more understandable and tolerable. It also helps you feel in control of your feelings rather than having them control you.
Some emotions may feel too overwhelming to acknowledge. If this is the case, try to feel your way through it instead of trying to understand what you are feeling. Using your body as a guide can help you do this.
You might find that simply naming the physical sensations that youre experiencing is enough for now .
Check out this great resource on feeling and body sensation words HERE