Accept That Theres No Easy Fix
If you came here seeking a 24-hour fix to loneliness, you wont find it. But thats okay! It shouldnt be quick. Giving yourself time is the most important part of learning how to break free from loneliness. When you allow yourself time to feel your emotions, you learn to be patient and kind with yourself. These positive feelings and coping skills mean that youll be better equipped to handle the waves of loneliness.
S To Take If You’re Feeling Lonely And Depressed
If you have been feeling lonely and depressed, it is important to remember that this is something that you can overcome. You deserve to feel happy and fulfilled, and there are steps that you can take to get there.
Within this blog, we will look at what you can do to address these feelings. We will also outline the professional support and treatment that is available if you feel that you need a helping hand.
Disconnect From Social Media
As noted above, social media breeds loneliness by giving you false perceptions. Instead of scrolling through images of everyones best selves and happiest times, take a step back from your online life for a while.
Choose to only look at social networks once a day, or perhaps not at all for a month.
See if this makes any difference to your loneliness, and ask yourself what you can learn from this.
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Join A Recurring Class Club Or Activity
Sign up for something you enjoy with others to help you meet people who have similar interests as you. When it becomes a regular event, you’ll have something to look forward to.
Start with your existing skills and interests â whether it’s art, drama or gardening â and use this as an opportunity to advance to the next level.
“Engaging in activities can help distract you from loneliness and isolation,” Dr. Vasan says. “With most of us now unable to engage in traditional in-person activities, I recommend getting creative with virtual interactions, such as live-streamed group classes, watch parties on Netflix or Prime, arts and crafts and online game or trivia nights.”
Harness The Power Of Technology
Nowadays, we have a lot of tools and platforms at our disposal to help us connect with others and also to keep ourselves busy. The key here is to use them properly.
Use social media right
While social media is often criticized for causing loneliness because they ?replace physical interactions, we can turn them into our favor. Use these platforms to connect with various groups and communities, and in turn, connect with new people. Social media should be about interaction, not comparing what you have with others.
Smart speaker/home assistant
Having a smart speaker in your home, like an Amazon Echo or Google Home can streamline your daily routine and giving yourself something to talk with.
Be proactive
Dont passively surf the net and social media platforms. Instead, be proactive in building and maintaining new connections with other people: give advice on groups and forums, engage in meaningful conversations, and so on.
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Talk To Another Lonely Person
There is a reason why therapy has group sessions. Walking with people suffering from the same problems as you helps with socialization, communication, problem-sharing, and self-awareness. As you interact with others, you see the practicability of overcoming your issues. In a group, each person is at a different level of fighting for their mental health. You not only find support but also become a shoulder for another person.
Start Your Own Business
Not everybody is born to be an entrepreneur. The only way to find out if you got it is to give it a try. Youre already committed to physical improvement for the next year so why not add a business on top of that?
Youre single and alone so I think focusing your mental energy on a business is a much better use of your time. Whenever youre feeling down and depressed, use that time to put into a business.
I obviously prefer doing the online thing. This business that I run started by accident. I created a blog and wrote articles about my relationships, my experience especially when it comes to since all of my relationships in my 20s were with BPD women.
Ive gotten a lot of hate over the years, but thats just the name of the game. People like to hate on those they disagree with. You got to have thick skin if youre going to put your thoughts and opinions out to the world.
If youre a good writer, put your talents to use. Freelance writers are always in demand. Copywriting is another good choice of career. In fact, any skill you may have could be used for freelancing.
The key is to research people who are already successful doing what you would want to do. If you dont know what you want to do, then just research research research.
And, avoid scams where theyre trying to get you to pay $500+ for their product to teach you how to start a business. Dont spend anything more than $100 on business education products.
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Level Your Social Gauge
Everyone has different social needs. Ever wonder why some people can seem to shut themselves inside ALL DAY and be as happy as a Zen monk, while others need constant outings to feel satisfied?
Think of your social needs as a rechargeable batteryI call it the Social Gauge.;
One of the underlying causes of loneliness is that it is hard for us to gauge how much social interaction we really needuntil its too late.;
We all have different social needs.
Which explanation sounds more like you?
- I am drawn to people; I get energy from social gatherings, and am fairly outgoing.
- Its draining to be around lots of people. I prefer peace, solitude, and quiet time. I usually crave alone time in my free time.
- It depends.
If you are still unsure, take our extrovert introvert ambivert quiz right here.;
Now we need to decide how much it will take to begin to curb your loneliness. Fill in the blank:
- When I was my happiest I had ___ closest friends.
- When I was my happiest I spent ___ hours per day with others.
- When I was my happiest I texted with the people in my life I care about.
- When I was my happiest I emailed with the people in my life I care about.
- When I was my happiest I called the people in my life I care about.
- When I was my happiest I saw people in my life I care about .
This exercise is incredibly important because it is your social goal sheet! If you saw people weekly when you were at your happiest, we need to work you back up to that!;
But how? Read on
Look For Activities Where You Can Be Alone With Other People
Think MeetUp groups, library clubs, city events, and so on, Bahar says. If you can establish a new hobby that puts you with like-minded people, even better. Always wanted to hike or paint or learn photography? Look for classes or groups that are welcoming to beginners. The goal is to find a place where you’ll be around people, even if you’re not necessarily making friends. If you happen to meet somebody great there, even better.
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Recognize You Are Not Alone
If 22% of Americans constantly feel lonely, know that if you’re feeling isolated, you’re sharing the same experience with millions of other people.
” I remind myself just how pervasive loneliness is and I imagine being connected to ‘all of the lonely people out there’. Sometimes I listen to Eleanor Rigby to hammer that point home,” says Megan Bruneau, therapist and executive coach. “Loneliness is a healthy emotion, revealing places we yearn for connection.”
It’s Tied To Higher Chances Of Heart Disease
Loneliness may increase a person’s odds of developing heart problems, too. A May 2016 study in Heart found about a 30 percent higher chance of stroke or heart disease among people who scored poorly on measures of social relationships.
The researchers attribute this link to a variety of behavioral, biological and psychological factors, such as behaviors like smoking or physical inactivity that are more common among individuals who are lonely.
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Why Am I Feeling Lonely And Depressed
People experience loneliness as well as depression for a number of different reasons.
When it comes to loneliness, a person will typically feel alone when the relationships in their life lack the intensity, intimacy and authenticity that they need to feel content. This can happen for a number of reasons, including:
- Losing someone close to you
- Getting a divorce or ending a relationship
- Retiring, becoming unemployed or changing jobs
- Entering higher education or changing your school, college or university
- Relocating to an area away from family, friends and colleagues
- Going through seasonal events such as Christmas, birthdays or anniversaries
- Experiencing a traumatic life event, particularly if it remains unaddressed
- Experiencing a mental health condition or addiction, particularly if it remains unaddressed
With depression, there are also many reasons as to why people experience this mental health condition, many of which overlap with what can cause loneliness. These can include the following:
- Experiencing trauma, especially during childhood
- Going through a distressing life event such as losing your job, getting a divorce or losing someone you love
- Struggling with serious and/or chronic physical health problems
- Having a family history of depression or other mental health problems
- Having previous experiences with mental health problems
- Having certain personality traits such as being very self-critical or having low self-esteem
Why Do People Feel Lonely
Because loneliness is so common, it makes sense that there are also lots and lots of different reasons why people feel lonely. Here are a few of the main ones:
- Feeling distant from friends. Ever felt like even though all of your friends are one tap of a button away, youre still not really connected to them? Dont worry: this is a very common feeling.;
- Being single. Perhaps youve recently gone through a breakup, or maybe youve never had a romantic relationship. Either way, even though finding a meaningful relationship takes time, for some people, being single makes them feel like theyll never find love.;
- Not fitting in. Maybe you have different interests to the people at your school. Or maybe you just dress differently. In any case, feeling like you dont fit can make the symptoms of loneliness even worse, and can mean its even more difficult to meet friends and feel connected.
- Looking after a parent or sibling. Being the primary carer for someone close to you who is sick or has a disability can often make you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. After all, a lot of your friends wont know what its like to have a brother with Downs syndrome, or a mother with bipolar, so being a carer can leave you feeling like you cant really talk to people let alone have them over for dinner or a sleepover.
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Enjoy Your Own Company
This might feel strange at first if you’re used to being around other people. But, spending time alone can be liberating.
The freedom to be alone with your thoughts can be a great way of winding down. Try and feel comfortable with just yourself for company.
Think of people you want to be around. Generally, they are people who are very comfortable in themselves. That quality is attractive to others. Learning to be on your own and like your own company is a step towards this kind of confidence.
What Does Loneliness Do To A Person
Loneliness is used to describe the negative feelings when your needs for social connection are not met. Many can connect emotionally to the people they live and work with. However, many cannot connect or share their happiness and worries with those around them.
Social media and fast-paced life have accentuated loneliness among people. Isolation and loneliness go hand in hand. Chronic loneliness and isolation can affect general health and mental health. Loneliness must not be confused with me time. It is normal to enjoy spending time alone on occasion. Spending time alone can help one reflect, focus, relax, and recharge.
People have different needs for the me time. Some may need more me time than others, and some may need more social interaction than others. When this need for social interaction is not being met over a period, it can lead to loneliness. Chronic loneliness and feeling isolated can occur in children and adults. An adult or child can feel lonely and isolated despite being surrounded by people, such as family. This is because others may not be empathetic toward them or interacting enough with them, making them feel lonely. So, you might need something or someone else to feel your best. It is important to be able to recognize loneliness and address it to prevent complications.
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Three Tools To Push Through The Pain And Get On The Other Side
Melissa has been incredibly lonely since her husband moved out last December.
She called me after reading my newsletter talking about a retreat I was hosting. She told me she was thrilled to see an opportunity to meet other women in transition. Melissa was now in the middle of her divorce and realized that she was still feeling very lonely.
After her split, it seemed like her friends mysteriously fell away and she found it hard to meet new people. This is something I hear a lot from the divorced population. Even today, well into the 21st Century. As far as our culture has come with accepting divorce as a reality, the social stigma is still alive and well. Couples or married individuals don’t necessarily want to hang out with single or divorced folks.
For Melissa, this was definitely unexpected fallout from her breakup and it added an extra layer of pain and loss to an already painful situation.
It is this sense of isolation and marginalization that propelled me to start running groups back in 2000 and to hold more regular retreats. I have found these outlets to be not only magical ways to help participants find a way out of the marginalization, but it can be a powerful springboard into the next chapter of their lives.
There are three important tools I’ve learned over the years that can help anyone get through divorce and come out of that isolation.
There is lifeeven fabulous lifebeyond divorce.Keep moving.
How Do I Deal With Loneliness
Humans are social creatures by nature. You long to connect with others and you want to be loved. It’s normal to want to have someone you can love in return. Learning how to cope with loneliness isn’t simple, but there’s much you can do to regain that feeling of value and belonging. There are effective ways you can deal with loneliness, and professional help is available if you’re in need. This article will cover tools to cope with, and move past, loneliness.
First, it’s important to note that even if you feel lonely right now, you’re not alone. Millions of people are going through similar struggles. It’s estimated that over 40% of all people will experience loneliness at some point in their lives. Even those who appear connected and popular can feel isolated from others.
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When Do People Feel Lonely
Loneliness can hit anyone at any time. Sometimes you might not even feel lonely for an obvious reason, and what youre experiencing could always be connected to other things like depression or anxiety.
But it’s true that a lot of people tend to feel lonely during big life events. Maybe youre moving house. Maybe your parents are getting separated. Maybe youre going from primary school into high school. Or maybe you just feel like youve outgrown your friendship group, or that theyre starting to get into things that dont really interest you.
All of these things could be making you feel lonely and lost, and you might find it hard to connect with people around you.
What To Do If You Are Feeling Lonely
- Try calling a friend, family member, health professional or counsellor to talk about your feelings.;;
- You could also contactSamaritans,or email:if you need someone to talk to.;
- Join an online group or class that focuses on something you enjoy that could be anything from an;online exercise;class, book club etc.;;
- Consider going for short walks in public places .;;
This is a challenging and sometimes lonely time, but it will pass. There will be lots of hugs, shared;pots of tea, parties and celebrations in the future. For now, lets be as kind as possible to ourselves and others.;;
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Surround Yourself With What Gives You Warmth
Engage in activities that bring you joy and spend time with people who deliver warmth.
This looks different for different people: For you, maybe that means strengthening an existing connection with a loved one, adopting a pet or even taking a short afternoon nap. Experiencing these little joys can fight loneliness by helping you reconnect with yourself.
“Be good to yourself by finding small things that bring you joy,” Dr. Vasan says. “Enjoy online retail therapy, a warm bath, reconnect with an old friend â the smallest things can mean the most at this time.”