Go For The Flooding Technique
Think about a claustrophobic person riding an elevator all day long, or a germaphobe smearing their hands on dirty door knobs. This technique is just as it sounds â you repeatedly and fully expose yourself to a situation until it feels less scary. “It is expected that the amygdala will learn that nothing awful happens, and stop releasing stress hormones,” said Tom Bunn L.C.S.W. said on Psychology Today. Flooding may be difficult to do, but it’s worth a try.
See Confrontation As An Opportunity To Learn
Try to get curious about what the other person thinks. Tell yourself, I dont have to agree with what they say, but it may be interesting to get their perspective. This can help if youre afraid of confrontation because you dont like conceding to someone elses point of view or being proven wrong.
It can help to ask the other person open-ended questions such as:
- Why do you think that?
- When did you first come to that decision?
- How do you mean?
Staying curious about the other persons motives and feelings can prevent conflict from arising in the first place because asking thoughtful questions and listening carefully can resolve misunderstandings.
Learn How To Express Yourself Assertively
If youre afraid of being steamrolled during an argument, practicing assertive communication can help you feel more prepared.
Assertive communication skills can also help you resolve misunderstandings before they escalate into conflict because they help other people understand your needs and boundaries.
These skills will help you shut down unacceptable behavior in others before it becomes an ongoing problem. When you feel confident upholding a boundary, you may feel less intimidated by strong-willed people.
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Learning About Your Fears
Learning about your fears can also help you in dealing with them. How then do you learn about them? You could do this by reading about them & inquiring. Reading a good book on your specific fear and learning more about it can open new doors on how you can get rid of it. You might even be able to seek the opinion of others who might have had or have the same phobia as you. Then, get their opinions on how they tackled it.
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Know Yourself & Know Your Fears
Try to learn more about your fear or anxiety. You can try setting yourself small, achievable goals for facing your fears. You could carry with you a list of things that help at times when you are likely to become frightened or anxious.
Get specific about what exactly youre afraid of. Pay attention to the pictures you have in your head about the situation. What is happening in them? What are you really scared of? You cant deal with what you dont even know. Some people are just scared, they dont know what they are scared of. Become an observer of your Innerspace, know yourself and know your fears.
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How The Brain Works During A Phobia
Some areas of the brain store and recall dangerous or potentially deadly events.
If a person faces a similar event later on in life, those areas of the brain retrieve the stressful memory, sometimes more than once. This causes the body to experience the same reaction.
In a phobia, the areas of the brain that deal with fear and stress keep retrieving the frightening event inappropriately.
Researchers have found that phobias are
Deflate Your Worst Fears With Humour
Why not trying having a little sense of humour and joking about those things youre scared about. When you do, you tend to reduce the fear you have for them.
For instance, what are some ridiculous worst-case scenarios that might happen if you accept an invitation to deliver a speech to a large crowd? I might pee in my pants at the podium, I will be arrested for giving the worst speech in history and before you give the speech you could probably announce to the crowd that they should please not arrest you. People would probably laugh and you would most likely reduce your tension and be more at ease. Same applies to other scenarios you might find yourself in.
life is too short to be too scared and too serious. Why not live, love and laugh it off DollyMchottney
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Tips For Helping Someone With A Phobia
When you have a friend or loved one who struggles with a phobic disorder, its natural to want to help them. Help can come in different forms. Many people benefit the most from professional therapy and treatment. As a friend, there are some actions you can take as well. You can provide a support system and play a beneficial role in helping a friend with phobias.
Is Therapy For A Phobia Covered By Insurance
Many health insurance plans cover psychotherapy. To find out about your insurance plans benefits and limitations, contact your plan administrator or review your policy documents.
If your employer provides an Employee Assistance program, you may find that the program offers mental health counseling as a benefit.
Medicare Part B and private Medicare Advantage plans offer mental health benefits.
Medicare requires you to only work with certain health professionals who accept Medicare when youre receiving therapy, such as:
- nurse practitioners
- physician assistants
Since Medicare Part C plans are run by private insurance companies, specific benefits and costs differ from plan to plan.
Medicaid is a health insurance program funded by the federal government but operated by each state individually.
Medicaid also offers mental health services. You may be able to access care in a community health center near your home or workplace.
If you dont have access to health insurance through your employer or through Medicare or Medicaid, there are other options. You may be able to find a therapist whose rates are based on your income level.
And a number of organizations offer sliding scale fees and therapy scholarships for people in communities that are often marginalized.
Heres a brief listing of organizations that may be able to match you with a licensed counselor near you:
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Why You Might Be Afraid Of Confrontation
Common causes underlying fear of confrontation include:
- Being worried that you wont be able to get your point across you might worry that youll look foolish in front of other people
- Fear of physical confrontation
- A desire to make other people happy, even if its at the expense of your own needs you may see confrontation as a sign your relationship is failing
- A fear that the other person will force you to go along with a solution that you dont agree with
- Fear of anger or experiencing other overwhelming negative emotions, such as anxiety or feeling out of control
- Fear of blushing, crying, or shaking during a confrontation
Some of these reasons can stem from childhood experiences. For example, growing up in a family where destructive fights or confrontations occurred frequently can make you afraid to have difficult conversations with other people. Or, if your parents acted as though confrontation was completely unacceptable, you may never have learned how to face problems with other people head-on.
Its natural to avoid things that we fear. But over the long term, avoidance may make you increasingly afraid to address problems with other people.
Types Of Feared Situations
People with social phobia generally are afraid of formal situations such as performing in front of an audience, informal interactions such as asking for dates, everyday situations like eating in front of others, and difficult situations where you need to be assertive.
People with social phobia typically fear four types of situations: 1) formal interactions such as public speaking 2) informal interactions such as talking in a small group 3) difficult interactions such as returning an item to a store and 4) everyday activities done in front of others such as eating, drinking, and writing.
When people with social phobia are in these types of situations they experience a variety of symptoms such as negative thoughts, physical anxiety symptoms such as blushing and sweating, behavioral symptoms such as trying to escape the situation, and emotional reactions such as hopelessness and depression.
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Support Them In Seeking Help
If you think their phobia is becoming a problem for them, encourage them to seek treatment.
- Suggest to help arrange a doctor’s appointment. If they’re unable to leave the house, try to find out if their GP does home, online or phone visits. See our pages on seeking help for a mental health problem for more information.
- Offer support when they attend appointments. You could offer to come along to their appointments and wait in the waiting room. It can sometimes help just to have someone accompany them. You can also help them plan what they’d like to talk about with the doctor. Our resource Find the words offers tips on talking to your GP about your mental health.
- Encourage them to seek help from a therapist. You can help them research different options. See our page on how to find a therapist.
- Help them look into different options for support. Try finding out about community services, peer support groups or your local Mind. To find your local Mind, you can use our interactive map of local Minds. For more information, see our useful contacts for phobias.
Using The Desensitizing Technique
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Remind Yourself Of The Potential Benefits
Identifying exactly how a confrontation can improve your situation might help you focus on getting a good outcome instead of dwelling on your fear of conflict.
For example, if you have to confront a work colleague, it may help to remember that by sorting out your differences, you might both be able to enjoy a more peaceful office environment. It may help to make a list of reasons why confronting someone is a good idea, even if it will be difficult.
Why Do I Feel Like This When Im Not In Any Real Danger
Early humans needed the fast, powerful responses that fear causes, as they were often in situations of physical danger however, we no longer face the same threats in modern-day living.
Despite this, our minds and bodies still work in the same way as our early ancestors, and we have the same reactions to our modern worries about bills, travel and social situations. But we cant run away from or physically attack these problems!
The physical feelings of fear can be scary in themselves especially if you are experiencing them and you dont know why, or if they seem out of proportion to the situation. Instead of alerting you to a danger and preparing you to respond to it, your fear or anxiety can kick in for any perceived threat, which could be imaginary or minor.
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Take Their Phobias Seriously
Anytime someone struggles with a mental health issue, including an anxiety disorder or a phobia, its important to take it seriously. Making someone feel silly for feeling the way they do is only going to cause them more distress.
Blowing off a phobia or making it seem like something the person should just get over isnt helpful to them. A phobia can lead to intense panic, and it can significantly impact a persons daily life.
Take Their Phobia Seriously
It might feel hard to understand why someone has a phobia of a certain situation or object. Especially when their phobia seems irrational.
However, it’s important that you take their phobia seriously. Try to understand that their phobia can:
- cause severe anxiety
- cause panic and distress
- affect their daily life.
You may not be able to see why they are so afraid of something. But the anxiety and fear they feel is very real.
“I never complain because I see no point in doing so, but I get very tired of being politely mocked for my fear.”
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Tips For Coping With Social Phobia
*If you need help finding a mental health professional, call 1-800-662-HELP or visit BetterHelp to chat with a licensed therapist for an affordable price. This post may contain affiliate links, which means I receive a commission if you choose to purchase through links I provide . Please see my disclosure policy.
The first key for how to deal with social phobia is knowing that you are not alone. Social phobia, also known as social anxiety disorder, is a recognized mental illness that affects between 3 and 13% of the population. If you suffer from social phobia, you have extreme and persistent fears of social and performance situations in which other people might be judging or evaluating you.
Think How Youd Handle Worst
If you know in advance how youd respond to a realistic worst-case scenario, you may feel more confident.
- Realistically speaking, whats the worst thing that could happen?
- How would I deal with it?
Possible scenario: My colleague loses their temper, yells abuse at me, and storms out.
Solution: Id calm myself using deep breathing techniques. Id then ask my manager for support and ask them for tips on how I should act around my colleague next time I see them.
Possible scenario: My friend doesnt listen to me and says that our friendship is over.
Solution: I would try to see her point of view and apologize if I realized Id done something to offend her. If we couldnt work it out, Id be sad, but eventually, Id move on.
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Why Wont My Fear Go Away And Leave Me Feeling Normal Again
Fear may be a one-off feeling when you are faced with something unfamiliar.
But it can also be an everyday, long-lasting problem even if you cant put your finger on why. Some people feel a constant sense of anxiety all the time, without any particular trigger.
There are plenty of triggers for fear in everyday life, and you cant always work out exactly why you are frightened or how likely you are to be harmed. Even if you can see how out of proportion a fear is, the emotional part of your brain keeps sending danger signals to your body.
Sometimes you need mental and physical ways of tackling fear.
Is It Normal To Think About Dying
Everyone has thought about death, but some people will think about it more than others. However, there are healthy ways to do it, and there are unhealthy ones.
People who think about death and value their lives might become more careful with their actions and be concerned about the safety of others too. Additionally, without thinking about dying, its impossible to find acceptance.
However, if people develop irrational fears regarding death, and develop anxiety disorders like thanatophobia, their thoughts dictate their lives. If people are too afraid and obsess over death, they miss out on living.
Can Mindfulness Help With the Fear of Death?
Incorporating mindfulness of your life can help you in many different ways. It focuses on being in the present. Keeping your mind grounded in the moment can stop you from worrying about death or dying, or anything else in the future. Thoughts about the fear of death are accepted and you learn how to dispose of them.
Mindfulness also incorporates many relaxation techniques such as meditation, which can help you calm down as well.
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Why Am I So Scared Of Dying
People can fear death to varying degrees, but there are some common themes that people have regarding it.
Typically, people who are afraid of dying are also afraid of uncertainty and a loss of control. Some people struggle with the idea of not existing whereas others are unsure if there is an afterlife and divine judgment. People also worry about how it will happen – will there be pain and suffering or will it be peaceful?
Additionally, people can have a fear of dying because they have a persistent worry about how their loved ones will cope with their death.