Encouraging A Person To Get Help
Aside from offering support, the most important thing you can do for a person with an eating disorder is to encourage treatment. The longer an eating disorder remains undiagnosed and untreated, the harder it is on the body and the more difficult it is to overcome, so urge your loved one to see a doctor right away.
A doctor can assess your loved ones symptoms, provide an accurate diagnosis, and screen for any medical problems that might be involved. The doctor can also determine whether there are any co-existing conditions that require treatment, such as depression, substance abuse, or an anxiety disorder.
If your friend or family member is hesitant to see a doctor, ask them to get a physical just to put your worries to rest. It may help if you offer to make the appointment or go along on the first visit.
Do I Have An Eating Disorder
The first step in your journey towards recovery is admitting to yourself that something is wrong.
It doesnt matter about age, gender, ethnicity or background anyone can develop an eating disorder. Thats because eating disorders such as anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorder are complex mental illnesses and there is no one single cause for them.
The symptoms for eating disorders also present differently for each individual, which makes self-diagnosis or diagnosis without a professionals input extremely difficult and potentially dangerous. Its also worth noting that diagnoses and symptoms can change over time, so being guided on your recovery journey with the help of a psychologist or GP is advisable.
Below are some tools to help you decide whether you or a loved one need to seek professional help for an eating disorder.
Subtle Signs Someone You Love Might Have An Eating Disorder
When I first developed an eating disorder, I didnt realize that I had one. I was experiencing a bad flare-up of my fibromyalgia and irritable bowel syndrome . I got sick each time I ate, and developed a fear of food in the process. I eventually decided to clean up my diet, trying to eliminate all foods that triggered symptoms.
Pretty soon, I had just six foods in my diet, ate only once a day, and exercised non-stopall in the name of better health. I was also irritable, rigid about my routine, and losing weight rapidly. My parents finally pointed out that I was starving myself with too few calories, and I began to eat more and exercise less. However, my eating was still disordered for years. Since the eating disorder was cloaked in my medical conditions, it took me a long time to parcel out what had happened to me.
At the time of my eating issues, I didnt know how complex eating disorders could be. And, judging by their comments at the time, neither did my family and friends. Everyone seemed to focus on my weight, my weight, my weight. But no one brought up my behaviors, like the regimented way I ate, or how I obsessed over certain foods.
If you get that nagging feeling in your gut that a friend or family member is struggling with an eating disorder, don’t brush it off. An honest, compassionate conversation could be the spark that your friend needs to get professional help.
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The Dos And Donts: If Someone Tells You They Have An Eating Disorder
If someone confides in you that they have an eating disorder, it may be difficult to know what to say. Even those with the best intentions may accidentally say something triggering or painful.
From the sufferers standpoint, theres nothing worse than telling someone and receiving a poor reaction. Just the act of sharing that huge secret is courageous and terrifying.
They are extremely vulnerable after sharing this information and the last thing they need is to feel insulted or misunderstood. If you want to be helpful, start by trying to understand a few basics facts about eating disorders:
Dos And Donts For Families And Supporters Of People In Eating Disorder Recovery
Do: Educate yourself about eating disorders. The more you know about what your friend or family member is going through, the better you can support them. Dont be afraid to ask your loved one questions about their unique experience with an eating disorder as everyone is different.
See my list of Eating Disorder Resources at the end of this post.
Dont: Talk about or evaluate your body or other peoples bodies in front of someone in recovery. This goes for compliments as well as criticisms. For example, noting that a celebrity looks great because she has lost weight can send a message that what you value about others is their appearance. Nor should you talk about dieting or weight in front of someone in recovery either. These messages are subtle but insidious, and it takes practice to become aware of them.
Do: Ask to be involved in your loved ones treatment. One of the most important components of eating disorder recovery is developing a support network of people who understand how to help. Many people with eating disorders use it as a way to cope with difficult emotions, thoughts, or events. Using food to exercise control over their situation is a strategy that may seem helpful at first but soon turns into a real problem. To move away from the disorder, the person must begin to rely on friends and family for emotional support instead of relying on their eating disorder. This is what we often call putting the eating disorder out of a job.
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Exercising Excessively To Burn Calories
With an eating disorder, exercise can become more than a means of joyful or healthful movement. Instead, it may become a way to compensate for caloric intake or as a way to punish themselves for eating too much. People with eating disorders often become obsessive about tracking the number of calories expended versus the number of those taken in.
What Diet Are You On
Our society praises weight loss and people constantly want to know about the newest and best way to lose weight. However, if a person with an eating disorder is losing weight and gets positive feedback from other people about weight loss, this can encourage disordered eating behaviors.
It is best not to comment on appearance at all. Focus on being happy to see the person or the person being in a good mood. Alternatively, ask about other non-appearance related qualities of the person.
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Be Prepared For Questions
It is likely that whoever you choose to speak to, they will have some questions for you about what youre going through. If you feel like you cant answer them, the best thing is to be honest. It could also be that they might jump into overdrive trying to get you help. Understand that this is coming from a good place, a place where they want to help. If you feel like its too much, share that with them. Perhaps suggest taking a break from the conversation and doing something else until you feel ready to talk again.
You Make Negative Comments About Your Body
People with eating disorders often become obsessed with body-image standards set by society, their weight, and appearance. They can spend hours staring at themselves in the mirror, sizing up each and every detail about their body. If you frequently call yourself fat, or you are obsessed with your perceived physical flaws, you might be at risk for developing body-image issues or an eating disorder.
If you are struggling and think you have an eating disorder, know that you are not alone and that there is professional help available. It can be very difficult to admit or acknowledge that you are struggling. However, it is important that you seek help as soon as possible. Eating disorders seldom go away by themselves.
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Take Our 15 Question Quiz: Is Oa For You
Do I eat when Im not hungry, or not eat when my body needs nourishment?
Do I go on eating binges for no apparent reason, sometimes eating until Im stuffed or even feel sick?
Do I have feelings of guilt, shame, or embarrassment about my weight or the way I eat?
Do I eat sensibly in front of others and then make up for it when I am alone?
Is my eating affecting my health or the way I live my life?
When my emotions are intensewhether positive or negativedo I find myself reaching for food?
Do my eating behaviors make me or others unhappy?
Have I ever used laxatives, vomiting, diuretics, excessive exercise, diet pills, shots or other medical interventions to try to control my weight?
Do I fast or severely restrict my food intake to control my weight?
Do I fantasize about how much better life would be if I were a different size or weight?
Do I need to chew or have something in my mouth all the time: food, gum, mints, candies or beverages?
Have I ever eaten food that is burned, frozen or spoiled from containers in the grocery store or out of the garbage?
Are there certain foods I cant stop eating after having the first bite?
Have I lost weight with a diet or period of control only to be followed by bouts of uncontrolled eating and/or weight gain?
Do I spend too much time thinking about food, arguing with myself about whether or what to eat, planning the next diet or exercise cure, or counting calories?
Worried About Someone Speak Out
If you notice the warning signs of an eating disorder in a friend or family member, its important to speak up. You may be afraid that youre mistaken, or that youll say the wrong thing, or you might alienate the person. However, its important that you dont let these worries stop you from voicing your concerns.
People with eating disorders are often afraid to ask for help. Some are struggling just as much as you are to find a way to start a conversation about their problem, while others have such low self-esteem they simply dont feel that they deserve any help. Whatever the case, eating disorders will only get worse without treatment, and the physical and emotional damage can be severe. The sooner you start to help, the better their chances of recovery. While you cant force someone with an eating disorder to get better, having supportive relationships is vital to their recovery. Your love and encouragement can make all the difference.
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The Dos And Donts Of How To Talk To Someone With An Eating Disorder
Loving someone with an eating disorder is hard, especially when you do not know how to provide them with the right support. Sometimes what may feel like the right thing may actually be causing more harm.
Twenty million men and women in the United States will suffer from an eating disorder at some point in their lives. These illnesses are just that an illness. They are not by an means a lifestyle choice.
You Have Weird Eating Rituals
Do you find yourself cutting up your food into extremely small pieces, or do you have to arrange food in a certain order? Strange eating habits are often seen among people with eating disorders. These habits or rituals can be a way of not eating too much or it can be a sign of obsessive compulsive disorder which is often diagnosed as a co-occurring disorder among people with eating disorders. If you recognize any of these symptoms, its important to reach out for help.
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Are You Ok Serrell Seriously Clembo Whats The Matter Oh God Do You Still Love Him Are You Pregnantis It Me Have I Pissed You Off Please Honestly Just Say
At that very moment I knew if I did just say I could never just not say. That would be it. Id be forever the random that suddenly starting throwing up after meals where the hell had that even come from? My best friend and I were driving back from Cardiff after a night out with other close friends. I hadnt long broken up with my ex and although on the surface, it seemed I was just going through the standard break up motions, underneath all was far from fine. They didnt know that, and I didnt really know it at that point either. But then, right at that moment, in the car with my friend, I thought Id tell her Id been making myself sick after mini binges. I was stuttering a bit as my mind was racing from tell her/dont tell her/tell her/dont tell her. I knew that as soon as I said it, I could never take it back- would she judge me? Would she think I was losing the plot? I kind of worried I was! Would she tell everyone and then Id forever be judged if I even hinted at needing the toilet after a meal.
If you or anyone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, please check out the following websites for advice and support.
It Is Not The Sufferers Fault
Many people struggle with eating disorders for various reasons. Most start with an innocent diet and exercise routine that became too extreme. Many people who suffer with bulimia are afraid of gaining weight and being judged for their appearance. Im sure everyone can relate to those fears, as well as the desire to be accepted and loved. Realize that nobody would choose to have an eating disorder and they never intended for things to get out of control.
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They Arent Trying To Hurt You
It may make you feel bad that they are struggling, but they arent out to cause pain for you or anyone else. Even if they are dishonest about eating, they are just ashamed and embarrassed about their disorder. Theyre still the same good-hearted person, but they just need some compassion and understanding.
Dealing With Eating Disorders In The Home
As a parent, there are many things you can do to support your childs eating disorder recoveryeven if they are still resisting treatment.
Set a positive example. You have more influence than you think. Instead of dieting, eat nutritious, balanced meals. Be mindful about how you talk about your body and your eating. Avoid self-critical remarks or negative comments about others appearance. Instead, focus on the qualities on the inside that really make a person attractive.
Make mealtimes fun. Try to eat together as a family as often as possible. Even if your child isnt willing to eat the food youve prepared, encourage them to join you at the table. Use this time together to enjoy each others company, rather than talking about problems. Meals are also a good opportunity to show your child that food is something to be enjoyed rather than feared.
Avoid power struggles over food. Attempts to force your child to eat will only cause conflict and bad feelings and likely lead to more secrecy and lying. That doesnt mean you cant set limits or hold your child accountable for their behavior. But dont act like the food police, constantly monitoring your childs behavior.
Do whatever you can to promote self-esteem. in your child in intellectual, athletic, and social endeavors. Give boys and girls the same opportunities and encouragement. A well-rounded sense of self and solid self-esteem are perhaps the best antidotes to disordered eating.
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Deciding To Tell Your Partner
Common Types Of Eating Disorders
Although the term eating is in the name, eating disorders are about more than food. Theyre complex mental health conditions that often require the intervention of medical and psychological experts to alter their course.
These disorders are described in the American Psychiatric Associations Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition .
In the United States alone, an estimated 20 million women and 10 million men have or have had an eating disorder at some point in their life .
This article describes 6 of the most common types of eating disorders and their symptoms.
Eating disorders are a range of psychological conditions that cause unhealthy eating habits to develop. They might start with an obsession with food, body weight, or body shape.
In severe cases, eating disorders can cause serious health consequences and may even result in death if left untreated.
Those with eating disorders can have a variety of symptoms. However, most include the severe restriction of food, food binges, or purging behaviors like vomiting or over-exercising.
Although eating disorders can affect people of any gender at any life stage, theyre most often reported in adolescents and young women. In fact, up to 13% of youth may experience at least one eating disorder by the age of 20 .
Summary Eating disorders are mental health conditions marked by an obsession with food or body shape. They can affect anyone but are most prevalent among young women.
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