What Thoughts Perpetuate Relationship Anxiety
The specific critical inner voices we have about ourselves, our partner and relationships are formed out of early attitudes we were exposed to in our family or in society at large. Sexual stereotypes as well as attitudes that our influential caretakers had toward themselves and others can infiltrate our point of view and shade our current perceptions. While, everyones inner critic is different, some common critical inner voices include:
Critical Inner Voices about the Relationship
- People just wind up getting hurt.
- Relationships never work out.
- Men are so insensitive, unreliable, selfish.
- Women are so fragile, needy, indirect.
- He only cares about being with his friends.
- Why get so excited? Whats so great about her anyway?
- Hes probably cheating on you.
- You cant trust her.
Causes Of Destination Anxiety
There are several different causes of destination anxiety:
- One of the main causes of destination anxiety is the belief that happiness is something that you need to achieve or attain. This can be a result of societal pressure or messages that you have received throughout your life. For example, you may have been told that you need to get a good job in order to be happy, or that you need to find a partner in order to feel fulfilled.
- Another cause of destination anxiety is the fear of missing out. With social media, it is easy to compare your life to others and feel like you are not good enough. This can lead to feelings of envy and jealousy, as well as a constant yearning for more.
- Finally, destination anxiety can also be caused by a lack of self-acceptance. If you do not feel good enough or worthy of happiness, this can lead to anxiety and stress.
Questions To Ask Your Doctor
Youve probably thought of a million questions you want to ask your doctor. But when youre in the office, theyre easy to forget. Writing them down will help both you and your doctor, and save time. Its a good idea to put the most important questions at the top of the list in case there isnt time for all of them. Here are some questions you may want to ask. Add any others you think are important for your doctor to know.
- Do I have an anxiety disorder?
- Is there something else that might be causing my symptoms?
- What treatment do you recommend?
- Should I see a psychiatrist or a psychologist?
- Is there a medication that I can take? Does it have side effects? What can I do to prevent or relieve the side effects?
- Is there a generic medication I can take? How long will I need to take it?
- When will I feel better?
- What else can I do to relieve my symptoms?
The list of questions you make will help you be prepared to answer your doctors questions. Here are some questions your doctor will probably ask you:
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Speech Problems And Incoherency
Interestingly, a fear of talking tends to be present in every anxiety disorder. It’s most commonly associated with social phobia, but anxiety in general causes people to want to avoid things that increase their anxiety – like talking.
Have you ever had a thought you wanted to share, started to put it into words and then found that the words seemed to come out wrong? This is not an uncommon problem for anxious people. An anxious person may be fully capable of forming their sentences clearly and eloquently on paper, and yet incapable of stringing together a few words when it comes to speaking in public due to the high levels of stress they feel in social situations.
This issue causes them to develop a fear of talking because they are worried about being judged or saying the wrong thing. They may find that even when they do talk, and hold a conversation well, they start to rethink it so often that they find fault even if they did a great job, and ultimately that reinforces their fear.
It is a vicious cycle where you feel anxious about speaking, then you find that you can’t speak because you’re too anxious about speaking, then you become anxious about not being able to speak, and the cycle perpetuates itself. Even if you do manage to speak, over-attention applied to the mechanisms of speech can actually cause you to do embarrassing things like spitting, choking or having to pause awkwardly in the middle of speaking, causing your speaking phobia to increase even further.
How To Talk To Someone With Anxiety
Nearly 40 million people in the United States alone experience an anxiety disorder. This amounts to roughly 18% of the population. If you haven’t come into contact with someone who has anxiety yet, you likely will sometime in your life. They may be a friend, a coworker, or a family member. Being on the outside looking in is hard when you see someone you care about in distress. People generally want to help but aren’t sure how.
Talking to someone with anxiety can be challenging, but it isn’t necessarily difficult. Wanting to help them is the first step. If you go into a conversation with an open mind, a willing heart, and ears to lend, you are halfway there. If you know someone with an anxiety disorder or someone exhibiting anxiety symptoms, follow these simple guidelines to engage in a conversation with them.
Start With Listening
Anxiety is irrational. With an anxiety disorder, a person can simultaneously know what the rational answer is but still can’t shake the feeling that something will go wrong. And that feeling overrules everything and anyone else. In those moments, it is best to listen. Model calm behavior, tell them to breathe, and allow them to talk things out. Understand that you may want to make everything better, but that doesn’t mean you always can. Sometimes they don’t need your advice or a solution they need to be heard. Your reassurance and presence are enough to take the edge off of anxiety, at least enough to start a real conversation.
Be There For Them
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How To Overcome Destination Anxiety
There are several steps that you can take in order to overcome destination anxiety:
Tactics To Less Stressful If Not Stress
Normalize feeling abnormal. Remind yourself that it is 100% normal to have worries or stress related to travel. While this skill might seem overly simplistic, its incredibly powerful. Telling yourself, It makes sense that I feel this way given the situation, is often the reassurance your brain needs. Normalize and nama-stay who you are.
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Should I Call An Anxiety Helpline
You can obtain information about anxiety and discuss your concerns with someone who understands and wants to help.An anxiety helpline can provide free, convenient, and easy services that will allow you to speak with someone who knows what you are going through. Staff members are highly trained on anxiety disorders and the treatment options available. If youre suffering from anxiety, you might feel a bit fearful of calling a hotline, but you should know that no one will judge you or criticize you for calling. You dont even have to give your name or any identifying information if you dont feel comfortable doing so. All free anxiety helplines are private and confidential. If you are seeking information for a loved one who might be suffering from anxiety, calling a 24-hour anxiety hotline can be very beneficial. You can obtain information about anxiety and discuss your concerns with someone who understands and wants to help. You can also learn about ways to talk to your loved one and encourage them to seek help if they are reluctant to do so on their own. Some of the reasons people call anxiety hotlines include:
How Anxiety Affects You
Individual symptoms of anxiety are things we all experience from time-to-time.
If you experience more than one of the following, over a couple of weeks or longer, you may need some extra support.
Physical effects of anxiety
- Dry mouth and/or difficulty swallowing
- Difficulty getting to and staying asleep
- Poor concentration
- Rapid heart rate and breathing
- Sweating or trembling
- A flare-up of another health problem or illness
- Sexual problems, such as not having any sexual feelings or no interest in sex
Some common ways anxiety can affect your behaviour and feelings
- Irritability or always being in a bad mood
- Having a strong urge to avoid situations that could trigger your anxiety
- Worry or always feeling that something bad is about to happen
- Asking a lot of needless questions and needing constant reassurance
- Being a perfectionist
- Being pessimistic and focusing on what may go wrong in any given situation
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Conversations With Activities Help Avoid Dry Conversations
To overcome dry conversations, put yourself in situations where you can combine conversation with activity. Invite a person to join you at a place where you can move about or focus on an activity if there is ever a hiccup in the conversation.
While lunches or dinners may be OK, there is really is nowhere to turn if the conversation runs dry . Instead, consider these options:
- Attending a sporting event
- Smiling too much or too little
- Slouching or keeping your arms crossed
Body language awareness goes a long way. You can better communicate with others simply by making eye contact, smiling gently, and standing with your chin level to the ground and your arms by your side.
In fact, good posture is linked with feeling more confident. One study found that participants who sat upright, with good posture, for an extended time, reported feeling more confident and had higher levels of self-esteem than those who sat slumped, with poor posture.
Types Of Destination Anxiety
There are two main types of destination anxiety: internal and external.
- Internal destination anxiety is when you are focused on your own goals and what you need to do in order to be happy. This can be caused by a lack of self-acceptance or the belief that happiness is something that you need to achieve.
- External destination anxiety is when you are focused on others and what they have. This can be caused by the fear of missing out or feelings of jealousy.
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Why Do Some People Not Talk At All
I just want to remind you that you are not weird or alone in feeling this way. There are others who probably feel the same way too. Its important to remember that every person has their own journey through life, and thats what makes us all unique.
If you are going through a hard time, its understandable that you wouldnt feel up to talking. Just remember that it wont always be this way, and there are things that can help.
If you know someone who doesnt talk at all, try not to take it personally or get offended by it. It may just mean they arent in the mood for conversation right now. Remember that you can still communicate with other people without talking. You can also give them the benefit of the doubt and assume there is a good reason for it. Be a good friend regardless, and show your support by being there for them.
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Theres nothing wrong with showing concern for a friend, but be careful it doesnt come across as accusatory. Suggesting your friend should be doing something can create a sense of shame if they arent, or make them feel like theyre being judged. If they do need to see a mental health counselor or take medication, those are decisions they need to make on their own and at their own pace.
Should I Call A Panic Helpline
If you have a friend or loved one who is struggling with anxiety, panic disorder hotlines can be a valuable resource for you to ask questions and learn more about anxiety and panic disorders.
Most panic attack helplines are free and confidential, which makes them an excellent way to reach out for help. It is normal to feel hesitant about asking for help, especially if youre unsure that what you are experiencing is truly a panic attack. But the people who staff panic attack hotlines are sympathetic and nonjudgmental. Their job is to provide people like you with the information and resources you need to get better.
If you have a friend or loved one who is struggling with anxiety, panic disorder hotlines can be a valuable resource for you to ask questions and learn more about anxiety and panic disorders. Many people call panic helplines because they are worried about someone they love, but they dont know exactly what is wrong.
Panic hotlines offer different kinds of support and resources. Some will lend an empathetic ear, while others help connect you to mental health treatment resources. People call panic helplines for many different reasons, including:
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When To Talk With Your Doctor
Anxiety is linked to many medical conditions, so its always a good idea to speak with your doctor about it. If youre concerned about your feelings of anxiety, thats reason enough to talk with your doctor theres no need to wait.
You dont need to have all of the anxiety symptoms to speak up about them, and you shouldnt wait until they worsen, or you develop new ones. Today is a great time to talk about anxiety with a medical professional who cares about your well-being. With both physical and mental health, prevention always benefits you.
The sooner you have an open and honest conversation about anxiety with a health care professional, the sooner you can feel better.
Treatment Options For Patients With Anxiety
There are two primary treatments for individuals with anxiety:
- Cognitive behavioral therapy , which involves learning how to lower anxiety and face distressing situations.
- Medication management with antidepressants, which works well on its own but even better when coupled with CBT.
During therapy, continue to show your support by:
- Asking your loved one what you can do to help them.
- Asking if you can attend a therapy session to learn some skills to better support them.
- Making time for your own life and interests to sustain your energy.
- Encouraging your loved one to try another therapist if the first one isnt a good fit.
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