Name What Youre Feeling
When youre experiencing an anxious episode, you may not realize whats going on until youre really in the thick of it.
Recognizing anxiety for what it is may help you calm down quicker.
Name that this is anxiety not reality and that it will pass, says Kim Hertz, a psychotherapist at New York Therapy Practice. When you are in a heightened state of anxiety, you want to disrupt that cycle, and for some people, thought-stopping techniques are effective and as simple as saying stop to the internalized messaging that heightens anxiety.
In other words, consider recognizing that what youre feeling is anxiety and talking yourself through it.
Embrace absolute truths, says Steven Sultanoff, clinical psychologist and professor at Pepperdine University. I will get through this one way or another.
Naming your sensations and feelings may help you step away from them. This is anxiety, it is not you and it wont last forever.
Know That You Don’t Know
You’ve probably had the experience of driving along a highway only to suddenly realize you have no memory or awareness of the previous 15 minutes. Maybe you even missed your exit. You just zoned out you were somewhere else, and it’s as if you’ve suddenly woken up at the wheel. Or maybe it happens when you’re reading a book: “I know I just read that page, but I have no idea what it said.”
These autopilot moments are what Harvard’s Ellen Langer calls mindlessnesstimes when you’re so lost in your thoughts that you aren’t aware of your present experience. As a result, life passes you by without registering on you. The best way to avoid such blackouts, Langer says, is to develop the habit of always noticing new things in whatever situation you’re in. That process creates engagement with the present moment and releases a cascade of other benefits. Noticing new things puts you emphatically in the here and now.
We become mindless, Langer explains, because once we think we know something, we stop paying attention to it. We go about our morning commute in a haze because we’ve trod the same route a hundred times before. But if we see the world with fresh eyes, we realize almost everything is different each timethe pattern of light on the buildings, the faces of the people, even the sensations and feelings we experience along the way. Noticing imbues each moment with a new, fresh quality. Some people have termed this “beginner’s mind.”
Defeat Anxiety And Live In The Moment Daily
After you research, talk and or write out your anxiety triggers, letting go becomes much easier. Youve now started to defeat these it. Notice, you still have to work at this. To do this, try to monitor the types of encounters that surface and the personalities of people.
Think about keeping your boundaries at the forefront, and be clear about them. Please know that youre not wrong for doing this. Its perfectly okay and dont feel guilty about this choice.
The key here is consistency, application, and loyalty to your new self and evaluation. Stay true to it because more challenges will surface.
Another thing to keep in mind is that you have wonderful gifts to offer to people who deserve them.
We have differing gifts that make up the world. Anxiety will manifest in our actions, which prevents our gifts from birthing and or maturing.
Anxiety causes struggles and produces resistance. It gives rise to inconsistencies. Anxiety promotes hurtful actions.
I confront any anxiety that tries to surface daily. This means I have self-awareness, or in this case, anxiety awareness.
Awareness is when you have knowledge or perception of a situation or fact. It is also a concern about and well-informed interest in a particular situation or development.
What do you perceive about yourself that is factual? What knowledge do you have about yourself that is factual?
How might you show concern about your daily self-development in areas of emotion, mind, body and spirit?
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Ways To Be Less Anxious And More Present
Discover how to be less anxious so you can become more productive and successful. Learn how to be more present and feel calmer, more in control, and happier.
Because the present is all we have, every precious second and nano-second is ours to do with it what we want. However, that only happens when we reside in the now mentally, and exert control over our thoughts and feelings.
Being more present is a good two-for-one deal in that it both helps decrease anxiety and increase pleasure. Heres how to stop feeling anxious in order to be light and free.
We All Want Peace And Happiness More Than Anything Else
But, lets take it one step deeper, one step closer to what you really want. So let me ask you a question if you got what you wanted most, assuming its one of those things I just mentioned, or something similar, if you got what you want most, how would you expect to feel? Well, youd expect to feel satisfied, content, peaceful, happy, right? You want to achieve these goals of yours, or whatever you think is most important, because you hope it will make you happy.
What that means is that whatever goal you had, have, whatever, the real reason why you want it is just because you hope it will make you happy. Your goal is actually not the goal, it is the means. Right? What you want is happy, to be happy and you just hope that achieving your goal will get you there. When I ask you, what do you want most, more than anything else, the truth is, you just want to be at peace. You just want to be okay with yourself, you just want to feel whole like nothing is missing, you just want to stop suffering, to stop having anxiety, worry, shame, insecurities. You just want to be at peace and you hope that getting what you want will get you peace.
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What Should You Do If Youre Anxious
So what can you do if you notice yourself feeling anxious? Start by facing your anxiety, advises psychologist Susan Albers-Bowling, PsyD. Then try these 9 ways to calm yourself:
A Meditation For Anxious Emotionsbob Stahl
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How To Live In The Present Moment: 35 Exercises And Tools
Youve heard it said beforeprobably many timesthat its important to live in the present moment.
You also might have heard similar pieces of advice like:
- Dont get caught up in thinking about the past or the futurelive in the now!
- Be present in your own life.
- All you have is this moment. Dont let it slip away.
All of these sayings boil down to the same basic message: its vital to live in the present moment.
In our current twenty-first century lives, its not easy. Theres always something coming up that we need to prepare for or anticipate, and our lives are so well-documented that its never been easier to get lost in the past.
Given the fast pace and hectic schedules most of us keep, a base level of anxiety, stress, and unhappiness is the new norm. You may not even realize it, but this tendency to get sucked into the past and the future can leave you perpetually worn out and feeling out of touch with yourself.
The cure for this condition is what so many people have been saying all along: conscious awareness and a commitment to staying in the now. Living in the present moment is the solution to a problem you may not have known you had.
You might be thinking that this all sounds great, but what does it actually mean to live in the present moment? How could we be living in anything but the present? Read on to find out!
You can download the free PDF here.
Tip : Talk About Your Worries
It may seem like a simplistic solution, but talking face to face with a trusted friend or family membersomeone who will listen to you without judging, criticizing, or continually being distractedis one of the most effective ways to calm your nervous system and diffuse anxiety. When your worries start spiraling, talking them over can make them seem far less threatening.
Keeping worries to yourself only causes them to build up until they seem overwhelming. But saying them out loud can often help you to make sense of what youre feeling and put things in perspective. If your fears are unwarranted, verbalizing them can expose them for what they areneedless worries. And if your fears are justified, sharing them with someone else can produce solutions that you may not have thought of alone.
Build a strong support system. Human beings are social creatures. Were not meant to live in isolation. But a strong support system doesnt necessarily mean a vast network of friends. Dont underestimate the benefit of a few people you can trust and count on to be there for you. And if you dont feel that you have anyone to confide in, its never too late to build new friendships.
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Heres What You May Want To Do To Understand Your Anxiety
Consider researching your symptoms and feelings, and why this happens. I googled anxiety and friendship. Of course, there were thousands of hits. I clicked on the headlines that resonated with me and were written by legit psychologists.
The symptoms I began to investigate miraculously led me to the term attachment anxiety. People with this anxiety will usually attract toxic people into their sphere. I wasnt aware that I did this until I actually studied it.
Attachment anxiety still produces the underlying symptoms of anxiety. Whats added to this is that were very loving and nurturing by nature. And, we desire the same characteristics in return.
Whoever we meet, we just automatically expect for the individuals to be as nurturing. You see, at some point in our lives, there were individuals who provided this level of experience. Back then, it was healthy.
But, as life happens, you learn that not everyone is as open or vulnerable to be nurturing. You soon discover some people are toxic and by the time this opens, its too late because youre already attached.
I didnt have this knowledge until research and holding a conversation with the right people about my anxiety. Think about being transparent about your anxiety. Anxiety affects our actions and relationships. Talking and journaling about it really helps.
When I finally conjured the gumption, I began the separation process from those who sparked triggers in order to begin to heal.
When Defeat Looks Bleak To Anxiety
When you defeat anxiety and live in the moment daily, its an incredible feeling. However, theres a process of defeating this inner monster.
Confronting self is a strong discipline. And being self-aware is a lifelong process. This doesnt mean it isnt possible. Some people are still stuck at the thoughts of, Im my own worst enemy, and deal with the inner me.
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Check In With Yourself Often
Several times during the day no matter whats going on, get in the habit of asking yourself, How am I feeling? Hopefully, the answer will be that youre doing just fine.
The point of this inquiry is to ground you in the now. My guess is that frequently when you ask this question, youll be pulling yourself back to the present from thinking about the past or futureworrying about that pay raise discussion youre scheduled to have with your boss, feeling anxious about a blind date or upcoming presentation, or ruminating about the argument you had with your partner earlier in the day or the fender-bender you had last week.
The truth is that much of the time we are doing okay emotionally. Life in most moments may not be thrilling or grand, but its usually not the pits either.
Even when were doing tasks we dislike or are not feeling particularly well, we can always find ways to feel better. We do this by simply paying attention to what is going well for us.
The presentation or date may turn out terribly, but now can still be pretty okay if you let it be. The mornings argument with your partner or last weeks fender bender may have repercussions down the road, but right this moment, your life is likely running smoothly.
Why Work Life Balance Is Important
Many of us get into the thought trap where we feel as if we need to sacrifice a particular facet of life in order to achieve something. Unless we give up or compromise on something we love, we will not be rewarded with an achievement. Well, thats actually never true!
There is no need to compromise on anything or work longer to achieve something. It is just the mindset. Work life balance allows you to achieve everything in life and keeps you happy at the same time!
We need to consider what would happen if we did not have a work-life balance to understand the importance!
People focusing on limited facades of life end up feeling dissatisfied and unhappy. Our minds tend to focus on what we had to compromise rather than what we gained. It is a sad state of mind that leads to stress and sometimes mental issues brought about by anxiety.
It is important to have a work life balance since it allows you to enjoy every moment of your being. You are left with enough time and energy for work, family, friends, me-time, or anything else thats important to you! You get to enjoy everything and be happy with a proper work life balance!
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Anxiety Worry Stress: Living In The Moment
Allan Schwartz, LCSW, Ph.D. was in private practice for more than thirty years. He is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in the states…Read More
As I read the many messages, questions and emotional comments written by some of our readers on Mental Help Net, I am always struck by how depressed, hopeless and angry they are. Too often, among these depressed individuals, are some who embrace death instead of life. A very few of them see death as an escape from a painful existence. In addition, they dont believe they are important to anyone else in the world, even though they have family, friends and children. They are convinced that they are worthless and no one would miss them.
The Osprey Nest:
I enjoy getting out and walking in the park. It is something I like to do by myself, so I can leave the world behind and be in touch with nature.
Recently, I looked up and noticed a very large nest high up in a dead tree. Two large, predatory birds were attending to the nest. They were beautiful, with white breasts and the typical appearance of Ospreys. Ospreys are skilled fisherman, majestically soaring through the sky, suddenly swooping down into the water to retrieve their prey. These are magnificent creatures.
Its not only chemical imbalances, childhood traumas, taking medication and going to psychotherapy, I believe we think too much, live in the past and future too much and lose sight of the present.