I’ve Had To Set Boundaries For Myself
However, for myself, I know I need to set boundaries and stick with them.
Neidich told Insider: “People who are in a relationship wherein one or both individuals are dealing with a mental health condition require a great amount of work around boundaries.”
She recommended weekly ongoing individual psychotherapy in addition to weekly couples counseling.
My personal therapist suggested the same for us, adding that the earlier we are able to mend resentments and communicate with an objective party present, the more likely we are to succeed in our relationship.
Many therapists are starting to agree that starting couples therapy within the first six months is proactive and beneficial.
I also engage in weekly teletherapy sessions every Tuesday. My own therapy sessions are a place for me to vent, ask for my therapist’s opinions on my relationship, and listen to her advice. The combination of therapy and medication aids me in being the best version of myself.
I’m fortunate to have that outlet, as not everyone does.
Neidich also suggested that a couple in our situation should be spending at least 50% of their time separated.
“At this given moment of time, that may mean having headphones on in the same room,” she said.
In the morning, I spend several hours writing and then I practice yoga.
I plan to visit my family more often, by myself, once it is safe to leave my house.
“This means agreeing ahead of time that you will be disengaging when there is a mood swing.”
When Youre Married To Someone With Bipolar Disorder
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Learn more about bipolar disorder and relationships by reading our relationship blogs.
Bipolar disorder wears many faces. There are as many experiences with bipolar disorder as there are people with bipolar. These experiences run the gamut from wonderful and exciting to confusing, disappointing and devastating. This article addresses some of the issues that can arise when dealing with a spouse with bipolar disorder.
Like all individuals, people with bipolar disorder have many good attributes, but at times, they also display less desirable qualities, such as being withdrawn, irritable, moody, and depressed. They may be affectionate and loving sometimes and then cold and distant at other times. The person may welcome and enjoy sex one day, while rejecting affection the next day. These erratic behaviors can be quite challenging for all concerned, especially spouses.
At times the person with bipolar disorder may experience manic or hypomanic episodes during which they can be fun, interesting, talkative, upbeat and full of energy. At other times, the person may experience depression that effects them physically, spiritually and soulfully. The spouse might feel confused, not knowing how to deal with certain behaviors.
- Academic struggles
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What You Can Do
- Tell your partner about your disorder. Do this before you make a long-term commitment to that person. Describe what they can expect when youre experiencing a mood shift. Its also helpful to tell them what you usually do to manage your moods. This way, your partner wont be surprised when you experience a mood episode. They may even be able to help you get through it.
- Stick with your treatment plan. Perhaps the best way to reduce relationship stress is to follow your treatment plan. This can help minimize your symptoms and reduce the severity of your shifts in mood. Discuss your treatment plan with your partner so they can help you keep on track.
- Keep an open line of communication. Tell your partner when you feel a mood shift occurring so theyre not alarmed by a sudden change in your demeanor. Also, be open to them when they tell you that they notice that your mood is different. Many times, others can see changes in our mood when we cannot.
- Be honest. If youre having a severe episode and struggling with your symptoms, dont hesitate to notify your partner and ask for help when you need it. For example, if youre experiencing a depressive episode and dont feel like leaving the house, explain this to your partner instead of making an excuse to stay home.
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Taking Care Of Yourself When A Loved One Has Bipolar Disorder
It’s easy to neglect your own needs when you’re supporting someone with a mental illness. But if you don’t take care of yourself, you run the risk of burnoutand that won’t help you or your loved one. When you take care of yourself both emotionally and physically, you’ll be able to better cope with the stress of caring for someone with bipolar disorder and have the energy you need to support your loved one’s recovery.
Focus on your own life. Supporting your loved one may involve some life adjustments, but make sure you don’t lose sight of your own goals and priorities. Don’t give up friendships, plans, or activities that bring you joy.
Seek support. Dealing with a loved one’s mental illness can be painful and isolating. Make sure you’re getting the emotional support you need to cope. Talk to someone you trust about what you’re going through. It can also help to get your own therapy or join a support group.
Set boundaries. Be realistic about the amount of care you’re able to provide without feeling overwhelmed and resentful. Set limits on what you’re willing and able to do, and stick to them. Letting bipolar disorder take over your life isn’t healthy for you or your loved one.
Manage stress. Stress takes a toll on the body and mind, so find ways to keep it in check. Make sure you’re eating right and getting enough sleep and exercise. You can also keep stress under control by practicing relaxation techniques such as meditation.
What I Know Now
Bipolar disorder does the dirty work for me and filters out individuals who tiptoe through life. The fact is, we all have issues, whether you live with bipolar disorder or not. And if someone won’t give you a chance because of a label, consider yourself lucky. Today I approach dating with one purpose to have fun. Dating experiences can teach you a lot about yourself. In an attempt to mask my vulnerability, I have found that I can be a bit harsh and overly confident in some situations.
Living with bipolar disorder gives you a very different perspective on the world around you. You look for meaning and depth in everything. We behave based on what we feel, not necessarily what we know is right or wrong. Sometimes this can lead us to be irresponsible and careless, but if handled properly, can actually be a gift to another person.
In my opinion, everyone benefits from getting to know someone who is unlike them. I believe individuals with bipolar or any mental health condition add depth and understanding to a person’s life. We live in a society right now that lacks empathy and is void of emotion. The most empathetic people I know live with bipolar disorder, depression or anxiety.
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Be Patient And Stay Optimistic
Because bipolar disorder is a chronic illness, symptoms will ebb and flow throughout a persons life. Symptom-free periods alternate with intense mood episodes, making the illness unpredictable. Try to remain patient and hopeful for the sake of the person with bipolar disorder. This can assist them in maintaining a full and healthy lifestyle.
Constructive Things To Try Before Saying Goodbye
There are several things you can try to preserve the relationship.
First, remember why youre in the relationship. You probably got involved with this person and picked this person because there are lots of things that you like and love about this person, said Dr. Saltz.
She suggested educating yourself about bipolar disorder to better understand the condition. It also helps to learn to recognize signs of depression or hypomania so that you can advise your partner to talk with their healthcare provider if needed.
Dr. Saltz also recommended encouraging your partner to continue treatment and taking any prescribed medications.
Sometimes, when people have been stable for a while, theyre sort of like, Oh, I dont think I need any of this anymore. Usually thats a bad idea, she said.
Dr. Alex Dimitriu, founder of Menlo Park Psychiatry & Sleep Medicine, said that you can also support your partner by offering gentle, nonjudgmental supervision and guidance and encouraging healthy behaviors.
These behaviors include:
- performing simple, daily mood tracking
- practicing self-awareness
- taking medications as prescribed
Additionally, he suggested that your partner identify three trusted people to check in with if theyre feeling off.
Let those people then provide an average sort of score, and say, Hey, yeah. You are a little hot-headed, or you are a little down, or whatever they may offer, he said.
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He Is Having A Hard Time
Experiencing the highs and lows episodes for a person with bipolar is hard. He is not trying to manipulate you or trying to get your attention.
He may need to cut off contacts to give him some space to think and be less overwhelmed with the pressure of therapy, treatment, and medication.
When your bipolar boyfriend ignores you, it will take some time before he is ready to come out of his shell. When that happens, you may ask for an explanation.
However, just because he is back in contact does not mean that hes healing. If he does not offer explanatory himself, do not ask for one.
You may feel entitled to any explanation, but your boyfriend may not think of that. Give him a little bit more time and show some affection and love.
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Helping Someone With Bipolar Disorder
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Typical Symptoms Of Mean And Nasty Bipolar Episodes
Can A Person With Bipolar Really Love
Is it possible for a bipolar individual to love someone? Absolutely. Is it possible for someone who suffers from bipolar disorder to have a regular relationship? Yes, if both you and your partner put in the effort. When a loved one suffers from bipolar disorder, the symptoms can be debilitating at times. However, you and your partner can work through this mental health issue. Although we provide drug and alcohol detox in Boca Raton, we also work with people who are suffering from mental illnesses, and were sharing some advice on how to deal with a loved one who has bipolar disorder.
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Acknowledge The Gifts Of The Illness
The bipolar diagnosis should never cut us off from humanity. Our illness imbues us with an insight and wisdom that tends to leave the rest of the world for dead. We think and feel more deeply and widely. We light up those around us. We have empathy in abundance. It goes without saying that we are a gift to the right person. Remember to acknowledge the gifts of the illness.
Narcissist And Bipolar Relationship
There is no one answer to this question as every narcissist and bipolar relationship is different. However, in general, a narcissist and bipolar relationship can be a very tumultuous one. Due to the narcissistic personality disorder, a narcissist is often very egocentric, self-absorbed, and insensitive to the needs of others. This can be a major problem in a relationship as the bipolar individual may often feel neglected and unimportant. There can be a lot of arguments and conflict in a narcissist and bipolar relationship due to the different ways that each individual deals with stress and handles problems. It is important to remember that each person is unique and that there is no one right or wrong way to deal with a narcissist and bipolar relationship.
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Does Bipolar Worsen With Age
While everyone has mood fluctuations from time to time, people with bipolar illness have significant mood changes that can disrupt their ability to think properly and interfere with their daily lives. Its normal for people with bipolar disorder to worry about what will happen in the future, such as whether their symptoms will worsen as they get older or whether they will ever be able to stop taking their medication.
The degree of bipolar symptoms varies from individual to person. Mood swings include episodes of both mania and depression that might recur in rapid succession or appear to go away for months or years at a time.
Mania is a defining symptom of bipolar illness, and to be diagnosed with the diagnosis, a person must have had at least one episode of mania or hypomania. Hypomania is a milder version of mania. Mania symptoms include:
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Mania may be followed by times of depression, which include a lack of energy and a loss of interest in activities. A person suffering from a serious depressive episode may sleep excessively, be unable to focus, and consider suicide.
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The Reality Of Bipolar Disorde
People suffering from bipolar disorder are held accountable at all times for their actions. A significant number of people will lose their primary excuse for alienating friends and family or losing their job. Many people may be forced to leave their homes and rely on government assistance. No one is sure whether people suffering from bipolar disorder lack empathy. In contrast, because they may be more difficult to read emotions, empathizing with them may be more difficult.
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Medication Isn’t Effective Right Away
Joe* was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder around a month ago. In his teenage years, a doctor had diagnosed him with bipolar, but the diagnosis was incorrectly changed to ADHD.
His current psychiatrist prescribed him an antipsychotic, called Abilify, to hopefully regulate his mood. However, this class of medication can take a minimum of six weeks before becoming effective.
Joe’s hypomanic episodes tend to last two to four weeks. When he is hypomanic, he is elated, impulsive, energetic, and more loving, though these symptoms vary from person to person.
We’ve engaged in trivial arguments of all sorts. When he is experiencing hypomania, he directs his anger and hostility my way, even when I’ve done nothing wrong.
When Joe is experiencing a “low” the depressive side of this disorder he becomes capricious and irritable. I can sense the empathic annoyance in his voice, and it stings like the venom of a snake bite.
Having suffered from mental illness myself, battling crippling anxiety and PTSD for over a decade, I know I need to look after myself while still showing him compassion.
I am understanding and supportive, as he is with me except for when his mood shifts downward. Then, he is unpredictable. I never know if I’ll wake up to a cranky boyfriend or good morning kisses.
Make The Best Decision And Dont Fret Mistakes
When do you go with your head? When do you go with your heart? How do you justify a decision to your partner? Our only guide is a lifetime of experience, which inevitably involves a history of wrong choices. Mistakes are inevitable, but they may also give us the wisdom to move forward. Says the Dalai Lama: When you lose, dont lose the lesson.
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Effects Of Anger On Overcompensating
You and your loved one may cope by overspending or overcompensating in another way. The angry one may feel guilty and try to win back the others affection through material means. Overspending may also be the result of trying to fill a proverbial hole in your heart.
Spending money to cheer yourself up may make you feel better for a moment. But living beyond your means will only cause more problems and stress. Nothing you can buy will address the negative feelings and confusion youre experiencing. Get professional help instead.