What To Do If My Girlfriend Is Depressed
People who have someone dealing with depression always ask, “What steps can I take to deal with a depressed girlfriend?” Here are a few tips to help make things better.
- Understand her situation. Sometimes, what you think is stress or burden is in fact clinical depression, especially when you notice she finds it difficult to do the basic things like get dressed or take a shower. Be there for her.
- Encourage her to pay attention to her health. Play your role in helping her maintain good hygiene. Take an initiative and give her things that may make her feel better such as comfort items, magazines, favorite music, healthy food, etc.
- Tell her how much you love her and show her that! It is important to share your feelings with her and console her. She should know how much you love her. You need to help her feel reassured that you will always be around for her. This will strengthen her self-esteem and self-awareness.
Always try to do things that help her cheer up a bit. It could be a simple text message saying how much you love her and think about her.
The More You Chase A Depressed Person The More They Will Withdraw From You
And, your misguided persistence about keeping the relationship going at all costs will eventually make her feel pressured and force her to make unilateral decisions about your relationship that you dont want her to make right now in this state of mind.
You might be thinking, Of course I would be offended and hurt by a breakup.
And, I completely understand. During normal times, a breakup is the height of personal rejection.
During a normal breakup someone is essentially saying,
You know this amazing, vulnerable, loving relationship we share? Remember all the sex, love, affection and great times when we ate pizza in the rain together? How about our shared love of garden gnomes? Remember that? Id rather do that with ANYONE else except you. No thanks.
See Depression As An Intruder In Your Marriage
Like any other illness, depression is an outside forcean unwelcome visitor wreaking havoc with your spouses health, your marriage, and your home life. Seeing it this way can allow both of you to talk about its effects without blame or shame. Once we started talking about it as a third partyas the depressionwe could express our frustrations constructively, Scott-Lowe says. If Dennis was really doubting his worth, I could say, Thats just the depression talking. Its not you. When youre not depressed, you dont think this way. Its feeding you lies.’
This shift in thinking can clear the air. It was a relief for me, Lowe says. I felt Emily was walking on eggshells sometimes, not wanting to tell me how she was feeling. Depression was the elephant in the room that no one wanted to talk about, and I felt even guiltier. Seeing it as the intruder was an accurate perspective. It helped me see why I felt the way I did and let me accept reassurance because it acknowledges whats going on instead of denying it.
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Your Girlfriend Doesnt Trust You Completely
Your girlfriend has pushed you away after telling you that she doesnt trust you. Well, weve all heard this one before.
Why doesnt your girlfriend trust you? Is it because you flirt with other women? It is because you cheated on her? Or, more commonly, is it because she doesnt trust your strength?
If your girlfriend thinks that youre weak then she will lose trust and push you away. Of course if youve done something to break your girlfriends trust , then youre going to have to apologize to your girlfriend for your mistake and never do it again .
If youve broken trust, how can you fix it? Its easy. You dont. You let time work in your favor and let your girlfriend open up to you when shes ready. Give her space and shell come back to you when shes mentally recovered and ready to communicate with you again.
You cant force your girlfriend to suddenly feel emotions that she doesnt feel for you. If your girlfriend has lost trust for you and pushed you away, then this means that she needs time to work through her emotions and feelings by herself.
Once your girlfriend has worked through her feelings, then shell most likely come back to you and be prepared to give the relationship another shot. If you were constantly lying or cheating on your girlfriend, youll need to show her that youre making an effort to change and care about her.
Peter looked nervous. No I didnt, he said hastily. I saw you, Jane said. Peter gulped. It didnt mean anything, Im sorry.
Tip : Get Up And Get Moving
When youre depressed, just getting out of bed can seem like a daunting task, let alone working out! But exercise is a powerful depression fighterand one of the most important tools for depression recovery.
Studies show that regular exercise can be as effective as antidepressant medication at increasing energy levels and decreasing feelings of fatigue. You dont even have to hit the gym. A 30-minute walk each day will give you a much-needed boost. And if you cant manage 30 minutes, three 10-minute bursts of movement throughout the day are just as effective.
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They May Spend A Lot Of Time Crying
They cry often and out of the blue. If you notice your partner spends a whole lot of time crying over things that seemingly dont call for it, they may be depressed.
Although it could be that their crying is a little under the radar. It might be obvious that theyve been crying, e.g. red eyes a puffy face, but they dont do it in front of you.
If they look sad most of the time, they may not have the energy to deal with it because of depression.
How Can You Help Someone With Depression
When you care about someone, you may feel responsible for helping them feel better.
However, living with depression can be a very private experience. Not everyone is ready or willing to accept input from others.
Waiting for your loved one to come to you about living with depression may allow them to maintain their boundaries and privacy.
Until then, there are ways you can support them without imposing.
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How To Cheer Up My Girlfriend Who Is Depressed
There are several ways to cheer up your girlfriend, who is depressed:
Communicate with her
Allow her time and space to process her emotions Express that you understand how she is feeling Offer physical affection when deemed necessary and appropriate Do not try to solve her issues Suggest ways in which you can help.
Helping Her Get Treatment
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I Think My Girlfriend Is Depressed: What Should I Do
Thinking your girlfriend is depressed can be worrying, especially if she can’t spot the signs of depression or refuses to seek help. Girls and women face many unique challenges when it comes to mental health, especially in the age of social media and pressures from all sides to look or be a certain way. Female hormones also have a role to play, and many women experience depression around the time of menstruation, pre or post pregnancy and when they go through the menopause. All of this can be difficult to understand if you have no experience of depression, so what can you do to help?
Listen and communicate
Although you may feel like its up to you to provide an answer or solution if your girlfriend is depressed, you can’t fix mental illness. There is plenty of practical and emotional support you can provide, but your main job is to listen and communicate with your partner and encourage her not to feel shame or guilt for being unwell.
Know that there is no normal
People with depression don’t necessarily seem depressed all of the time. There is no normal when it comes to mental illness some people experience major depressive symptoms for months or years, while others have days where they feel okay and others where they don’t, especially during recovery. If you think your girlfriend is depressed but her moods seem to change rapidly, it’s important to consult a doctor, as this can be a sign of a mood disorder.
Get Professional Help If Needed
If you dont benefit sufficiently from self-help treatments, seek help from a mental health professional. While women suffering from depression respond to the same types of treatment as men, specific aspects of treatment are often modified for women. Women are also more likely to require simultaneous treatment for other conditions such as anxiety or eating disorders.
Therapy. Talk therapy is an extremely effective treatment for depression. It can provide you with the skills and insight to relieve depression symptoms and help prevent depression from coming back. One of the most important things to consider when choosing a therapist is your connection with this person. The right therapist will be a caring and supportive partner in your depression treatment and recovery.
Medication.Antidepressant medication may help relieve some symptoms of depression in women, but it wont cure the underlying problem. Because of female biological differences, women are generally started on lower doses of antidepressants than men. Women are also more likely to experience side effects, so any medication use should be closely monitored. Dont rely on a doctor who is not trained in mental health for guidance on medication, and remember that medication works best when you make healthy lifestyle changes as well.
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Keep The Big Picture In Mind
Since shes already actively getting help, your main priority is helping your depressed girlfriend pass the time and get through this time without succumbing to killing herself, ending your relationship or ruining your bond.
Your simple objective here is to run out the clock on your depressed girlfriends episode without pushing anything to a head or forcing any unnecessary serious talks about your relationship.
Eventually as she starts to feel better the hopelessness and thought distortions will begin to lift.
Thats why trying to help your depressed girlfriend by attempting to talk her out of it or reason with her is a pointless exercise.
Sex Is Going To Be A Come
When your mate is suffering from the big D, the last thing theyre going to want is the D in between their legs. When you have sex, you want to feel sexy, hot, and confident.
Do you know what rips all of those erotic feelings away from you? Depression.
Be patient with your lover until they get back into the swing of things sexually, and always keep the lines of communication open.
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Have A Good Understanding Of Depression
This will help you have at least a sense of what they may be going through. Understanding a problem is the first step to finding a lasting and sustainable solution to that problem. Not everyone understands what people who are going through depression may be going through. And because of this lack of understanding, they tend to adopt the wrong approach to persons dealing with depression. To avoid this happening, find out all you can about depression. A good place to start would be knowing what the signs of depression are. And we already list the main ones in the first section of this article.
Help Them Get Support
While your compassion and guidance can make a big difference for your child, professional support is typically the best way to improve symptoms.
If they resist the idea of therapy at first, talking to a school counselor, family pediatrician, or favorite teacher can help them get more comfortable with the idea. They might be more willing to consider therapy when other trusted adults encourage them to reach out.
Talking over what happens in therapy can also help demystify the process. If they seem worried about being hospitalized or forced to take medication, explain that a therapist will listen to their thoughts, offer support without judgment, and help them explore ways to start feeling better.
You can also explain that while medication can help relieve severe symptoms, they have other treatment options, too.
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Be Alert For Relapses
About 85 percent of people who suffer a bout of major depression will have a relapse within a decadeand half will have a recurrence within a year, according to a study published in International Journal of Neuropharmacology. The researchers recommended a maintenance dose of antidepressants and/or therapy to prevent a relapse. Both spouses should also stay alert for signs that the illness is returning, Walfish adds.
Caring for a depressed spouse can be lonely, overwhelming, and emotionally draining, she says. You may blame yourself, feel helpless, grow pessimistic, lose your sense of humor, and even consider leaving. Its easy for the non-depressed spouse to become angry and frustrated with an irritable, lethargic mate whos pessimistic and critical, who cant unload the dishwasher, or who cant get the kids ready for bed anymorelet alone make love, ask how youre doing, or acknowledge that youve been holding things together for weeks, months, or years.
This starts a cycle that burns you out and doesnt help your partner at all, Scott-Lowe notes. I did this with DennisI would become extremely angry with him. Then I would feel really guilty and try to make up for it by taking on more and more around the house. Then I would get angry all over again. This wasnt helping Dennis, of course, and it was wearing me out emotionally and physically.
They May Start To Display Suicidal Ideation
Do they start talking more about suicide and entertaining suicidal thoughts? Or maybe they start giving away their things or saying odd goodbyes and making arrangements for life without them around. These are serious warning signs to pay attention to because it shows that they are going through a major depressive episode.
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My Girlfriends Depression Is Bringing Me Down I Feel Helpless
It sounds like you have been a tremendous source of love, strength, and support for your girlfriend in her battle with depression. That takes incredible patience and compassion, but it can also take a toll on you. In cases of chronic depression, it is very common for partners to begin to feel more like caretakers than anything else. Very often, when one takes on the role of caretaker, it becomes such a consuming task that the caretaker loses touch with himself/herself. Its a positive sign that you seem to have a solid sense not only of where she is, but also where you are. It also seems like you have come to the realization that this situation is not sustainable and that something must change. So the question, as you insightfully pose, is where do you go from here?
Also, if her depression has lasted for years with no improvement, it might be time to look at changing the treatment plan. This could mean adding individual and/or group therapy to her treatment regimen, trying a new therapeutic approach, or making a change to her medication. Consider suggesting that she talk about these possibilities with her psychiatrist and therapist . If, after years of treatment, she isnt getting any better, something probably needs to change. Your girlfriend should know that she has the right to be an active participant in her treatment plan and to discuss changes to this plan with her clinicians.
Respectfully,
When Youre Dating Someone With Depression Try Not To Take It Personally
Many times, we hurt the ones we love, and dating someone with depression is no different. There may be times when you feel like your partner is walking all over you or taking all of their depressed frustrations out on you unfairly.
The silver lining? Youre totally right. They probably are. But its only because they know youll love them unconditionally regardless.
When youre dating someone with depression, you need to remember that the depression isnt about you, its about your partner. So if theyre being unreasonable, just take a breath and remember not to take it personally.
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