Talking To A Man About Depression
Many men dont exhibit typical depressive symptoms such as a despondent mood, so you may want to avoid using the word depression and try describing his behavior as stressed or overly tired. It could help him to open up.
Point out how his behavior has changed, without being critical. For example, You always seem get stomach pains before work, or You havent played racquetball for months.
Suggest a general check-up with a physician. He may be less resistant to seeing a family doctor than a mental health specialist at first. The doctor can rule out medical causes of depression and then make a referral.
Offer to accompany him on the first visit with a doctor or mental health specialist. Some men are resistant to talking about their feelings, so try to remove roadblocks to him seeking help.
Encourage him to make a list of symptoms to discuss. Help him focus on his feelings as well as physical ailments, and to be honest about his use of alcohol and drugs.
How to support a man with depression
Engage him in conversation and listen without judgement. Dont disparage any of the feelings he expresses, but do point out realities and offer hope.
Take any remarks about suicide seriously. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or find a suicide helpline in another country at Befrienders Worldwide.
Invite him for social activities, whether its simply a walk together or lunch with friends. If your invitation is refused, keep trying.
Tips To Strengthen Your Relationship
Having a spouse with depression may translate into unique challenges for your relationship.
If your spouse is irritable or experiencing bouts of anger, you may find it hard to respond or be supportive in the moment.
Maybe they arent as responsive as they used to be, or they may say things about you or themselves that hurt you.
This could be especially true in situations where your spouse is in denial about their symptoms, says Beurkens. It can also lead to a lot of communication issues, a lot of frustration, resentment, arguing, she adds.
In some scenarios, you may even feel like your spouse doesnt love or care for you. Keeping in mind depression is a mental health condition, could help you in these occasions.
But, how can you deal with ongoing friction?
Beurkens suggests the following:
A Depressed Spouse Can Challenge A Marriage
But when these kinds of behaviors enter a marriage, healthy spouses tend to take it personally. They may question whether they are part of the problem. They may wonder if its their fault, that their partners would be happier if they were more helpful around the house or more attractive.
Additionally, a hallmark of major depression is a loss of interest in activities that used to be enjoyable. Combine that with a victims social withdrawal, and physical affection diminishes as well. Understandably, spouses of depressed people often experience their own depression.
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Tip : Support Your Health
Positive lifestyle changes can help lift depression and keep it from coming back.
Aim for eight hours of sleep. Depression typically involves sleep problems whether youre sleeping too little or too much, your mood suffers. Get on a better sleep schedule by learning healthy sleep habits.
Keep stress in check. Not only does stress prolong and worsen depression, but it can also trigger it. Figure out all the things in your life that stress you out, such as work overload, money problems, or unsupportive relationships, and find ways to relieve the pressure and regain control.
Practice relaxation techniques.A daily relaxation practice can help relieve symptoms of depression, reduce stress, and boost feelings of joy and well-being. Try yoga, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or meditation.
Spend time in sunlight. Getting outside during daylight hours and exposing yourself to the sun can help boost serotonin levels and improve your mood. Take a walk, have your coffee outside, do some yard work, or double up on the benefits by exercising outdoors. If you live somewhere with little winter sunshine, try using a light therapy box.
Develop a wellness toolbox to deal with depression
Come up with a list of things that you can do for a quick mood boost. The more tools for coping with depression, the better. Try and implement a few of these ideas each day, even if youre feeling good.
Educate Yourself About Depression
People who suffer from depression can have several good days before falling back into it. Depression is a disease that ebbs and flows in a way that loved ones can find hard to understand. The symptoms of depression can vary from person to person as well. To make matters more confusing, symptoms can also change over time and manifest with different intensity from day to day.
Understanding depression is an important step in helping your spouse. Asking questions and listening to their responses lets you understand their experiences. Being aware of the signs and encouraging them to get treatment is also important. Its possible that with treatment, your spouse can reignite their motivation, enjoyment, and engagement with life.
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Create A Supportive Environment At Home
Another important way you can support your spouse through their depression is by creating a supportive home environment. Lifestyle changes can make a huge difference, especially if the person is in treatment. Its important to remember that depression affects a person both mentally and physically, zapping their energy and making it difficult for them to make healthy choices. Some ways you can create a supportive environment include:
- Plan and cook healthy meals together to encourage healthier food choices.
- Exercise together. This can boost their mood and mental health, plus it can keep you both healthy.
- Be involved in your partners treatment as much as you can. This includes driving them to their appointments or sitting in the waiting room.
- Create routines with them to prevent stress.
- Make plans together to do things you both love.
- Give positive reinforcement by pointing out their strengths and areas where youve seen improvement.
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Tip : Exercise For Greater Mental And Physical Health
When youre depressed, just getting out of bed can seem like a daunting task, let alone working out. But exercise is a powerful depression fighterand one of the most important tools in your recovery arsenal. Research shows that regular exercise can be as effective as medication for relieving depression symptoms. It also helps prevent relapse once youre well.
To get the most benefit, aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise per day. This doesnt have to be all at once-and its okay to start small. A 10-minute walk can improve your mood for two hours.
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Remember That Depression Isnt Just A Mental Illness
It used to drive me mad that Rob wouldnt get out of bed. It took a while to realise that he couldnt rather than wouldnt. I was so sure he would feel better if he came out for a walk or met his friends, but depression is a physical illness, too. As Dr Cain says: Physically, depression impacts energy levels. People sometimes feel very tired and want to stay in bed all the time.
Don’t Get Bogged Down In Stigma Or Angry Feelings
Dealing with a partner’s depression can provoke anger and resentment, especially if one spouse is often making excuses for a loved one’s social absences, or if some household responsibilities might need to temporarily shift.
When a spouse acts withdrawn and unaffectionate, a couple’s sex life and level of intimacy will suffer. There is also a sense of shame attached to having a mental health disorder, which can prevent a depressed spouse from seeking help for a treatable illness.
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Ways To Help Your Depressed Husband Or Wife
- Posted on
How can I help my depressed husband?
How do I help my wife who is depressed?
How can I be helpful to my depressed friend?
These are all questions I frequently hear.
Last month was Depression Awareness Month and I would be remiss if I didnt also try to help those who have depressed loved ones.
Encourage Your Spouse To See A Physician
Many physical maladies have symptoms that mimic depression. Depression is also a side effect of some medications, for example, beta-blockers, pain medications and anxiety medications. Thats why seeing a family physician is important.
In addition, many people are more comfortable talking to their regular doctor about depression, especially initially, rather than going to a mental health specialist. If needed, the team approach of a physician and mental health specialist working together can be an optimal collaboration.
No matter who your spouse sees first, its important that you both trust the professional and that you choose someone who can follow up with you and your spouse on a regular basis. Some episodes of depression occur only once, but its not uncommon to have a recurrence.
When you talk with a health specialist, be sure to mention any family members with mental health issues. Its common for there to be a family history. And remember, there are effective treatment options for depression.
Doug agreed to go with Shelly to see their family doctor. After a thorough evaluation and a consultation with a psychiatrist, Doug was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. His current depression was a part of that condition, formerly known as manic depression. He started taking a mood stabilizer. Both he and Shelly were encouraged by having a diagnosis and a treatment plan.
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Warning Signs Of Suicide
People with depression may be at risk of suicide. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, more than half of those who die by suicide have major depression.
Partners of those with depression should be aware of the warning signs of suicide so that they can take swift action if necessary. Warning signs include:
- talking about death or suicide
- having a suicide plan
Ask Your Partner What They Need
Dont be afraid to ask your partner what they need, says McDaniel. Sometimes, in an attempt to regulate our own discomfort, we can rush to fix what we perceive to be the problem, she explains.
You may catch yourself saying something like:
- Just go outside.
- Just take a shower.
- Just tell your boss you quit.
This can be seen as minimizing their experience, she adds. Instead, consider asking your partner to name the specific support they would like from you.
They may ask you to curl up with them and watch something comforting, go for a short walk, or just be together in the same room without speaking. Try to be open-minded about it.
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How To Help Someone With Depression
Feeling down or depressed from time to time is normal. But if these feelings last 2 weeks or more, or start to affect everyday life, this can be a sign of depression.
Depression can develop slowly. Someone who’s depressed does not always realise or acknowledge that they’re not feeling or behaving as they usually do.
Often it’s a partner, family member or carer who first realises that help’s needed. They may encourage their friend or relative to see a GP, or find some other source of support.
Know That The Odds Are In Your Favor
Up to 80 percent of people report seeing an improvement within four to six weeks of starting treatment, according to statistics from the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. Usually, the road back is relatively simple: antidepressants, counseling, or a combination of the two, they report. That said, recovery may take time and patience, Walfish says. There may be an initial trial-and-error period while you try various antidepressants or see whether various therapy techniques, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy and interpersonal counseling, are helpful. The results are worth it.
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How To Help My Depressed Husband
Written by Jeff Johnson
Its another morning where you are getting ready for work, but your husband is still in bed with the covers pulled over his head. Hes been listless like this for a couple of weeks, barely able to function most mornings, and when he gets home from work he is frequently exhausted, which means he is easily irritated by the most minor things. He doesnt eat like he used to in fact, hes lost interest in many of the things that he used to enjoy. He says he feels sad, and you feel the sameyou miss the man you married, and you are wondering if he will ever come back.
Living through a major depressive episode is gruelingfor both the person with the disorder and his spouse. As depression takes its toll on your husbands well-being, you may also feel depleted, angry, frustrated and hopeless, just like he does. When your husband is depressed, it completely throws the balance and routines of your relationship off-kilter. You both may be strugglingwhile your husband is working through his depression, you are probably going into overdrive to compensate for his disengagement. This can be profoundly tiring for you you love your husband and want to help him feel better, but often you feel despair because you dont know what to do.
Ask About Suicidal Thoughts
Be aware if your spouse begins giving away prized possessions or admits to feelings of hopelessness or unbearable pain. A suicidal person doesnt so much want to end life as to escape the pain. They are too tired to fight to live anymore. They just want to get away from the hurt, the confusion, the darkness.
A gentle way to approach this subject of suicidal thoughts would be to say something along these lines: Honey, theres been a lot going on lately. Have you been doing OK? Ive been concerned. Are you feeling overwhelmed? Have you had any thoughts of hurting yourself?
Do not leave your spouse alone if you think they are suicidal. Remove any firearms in the home. Having thoughts of suicide is a medical emergency. Call 911 and tell the operator that your spouse is at risk of hurting themselves or potentially someone else. If you feel your life is in danger, seek a safe place. Keep your phone with you and stay in contact with the 911 operator.
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Next Level Recovery Is A Treatment Center For Depression Counseling And Therapy Services In Utah
Are you struggling with depression in Salt Lake City, Utah? The best way to help your partner who is struggling with depression is to find the best depression treatment in your area and support them along the way. ContactNext Level Recovery today for professional assistance. We are a drug, alcohol, and depression treatment center that offer customizable depression treatment plan to get to the source of the problem and help you or your loved one recover and truly be happy again. We are passionate about helping those struggling with depression. Give us a call today at 759-5846 for a free consultation.
Seek Diagnoses And Treatment
If you suspect your spouse may be depressed, the most important action you can take is to help him or her get proper diagnosis and treatment. That can be difficult, though, since one of the factors of depression is hopelessness depressed people tend to believe nothing will help. Thats why its important that you be persistent.
You can begin with listening to your spouse and showing empathy. You can indicate that youve noticed a change in behavior and are concerned for your partners happiness and well-being. You can also say that you wonder if depression may be the cause.
It doesnt matter whether you begin with a counselor or your family doctor. Either one can help in the diagnosis and refer you to the other for additional treatment.
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Ways To Help Your Spouse With Depression
When your spouse is depressed, your marriage can become depressed. The sadness and illness in the family can erode the emotional intimacy and clouds your marriage/relationship with pessimism, resentment, anger, and isolation. You need to keep in mind that even the loveliest and happiest people can be pulled into the depression corner within no time. But, what is depression? Depression in itself is a complex thing with many faces, and unless you learn about it and understand it, you wont be able to know how to help someone with depression. It goes beyond the daily sadness that someone may feel once in a moment.
Sometimes, depression can look like real happiness one day, followed by the scariest and deepest form of sadness the next day. This is a disease that can upset everyone in the family. Standing on the sidelines when your partner is battling with deep depression can feel like a helpless experience. This article offers you helpful insights on how to help a spouse with depression to save your marriage/relationship from hitting rock bottom.
Don’t Take It Personally
Depression can make people behave in ways that they normally wouldn’t when they are feeling well. They may become angry, irritable, or withdrawn. They may not be interested in going out or doing things with you like they used to. Your spouse or significant other may lose interest in sex.
These things are not personal, and they don’t mean that your partner no longer cares for or about you. They are symptoms of the illness that requires treatment.
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